Okay, so The Purity Report is primarily about people struggling with sexual sin getting out of the dark and into the light. But it is more than just getting rid of some unwanted behaviors. It is about walking away from the false intimacy of pornography, lust, fantasy and self-gratification into the real world; the messy, risky, beautiful world where real relationships can be formed. It is about leaving our childish ways of coping with stress behind and choosing a better way. It is choosing to grow. It is making a decision once and for all that maybe this ugly fight with sexual sin has a purpose beyond learning to be a good boy or girl.

Maybe, just maybe, God has much more in mind. Could it be possible that this wretched struggle may be the single biggest blessing God has given to you (Rom. 8:28)? I mean, if it’s not a salvation issue, then God must have a reason for not zapping me and taking this away once and for all. What if God wants to teach you how to use your struggle to strip pride away from your soul so that he can shower you with his grace (Jas 4:6). What if he wants to mature you, to develop your character and heal you? What if through the process of healing, by walking with Jesus on the journey, you find yourself able to minister to others from a place of true brokenness and humility rather than a spirit of pride and arrogance (Matt. 5:3; 2 Cor. 1:3-4).

Why not let God use the sacrament of deep confession to pry the dead idols of sex and self out of your hands? Why not soak in the light, marinate in it, let yourself be permeated by it, rather than just sneaking a peek of the glorious light through online forums and vaguely sharing your struggles (1 Jn 1:7-9)? What do you really have to lose? Is this world really worth that much in the light of an eternity with Jesus? Is the approval (or disapproval) of men so important that it would rob you of the blessing of real intimacy with God and others? Do you really think you can get whole through half measures?

Step into the light with both feet! There is safety there. There is divine protection. It isn’t about shouting from the rafters and rooftops that you are a pervert. No, it is simply finding a few people in your life to talk to; to share your heart with. It is about trusting that God has already placed at least one person in your life, probably more, who will stand with you without judgment. These people are full of mercy and grace towards you, just as God is. They are a blessing sent from heaven to take your confession. They are given to you to carry your burden while you carry your load (Gal 6:1-5).

That is what The Purity Report is really all about!

I had to share this. It is from Lazaroo (www.lazaroo.com) a daily prayer devotional to which I subscribe. It is very relevant to the way I feel about my own struggle with porn addiction. Without it, I would not be the man I am today…

“Therefore I will make Samaria a heap of rubble, a place for planting vineyards. I will pour her stones into the valley and lay bare her foundations.”
(Micah 1:6)

I’ve been there before, Jesus.

reduced to rubble
all my stones poured into the valley

not one of them left stacked on another
my foundations laid absolutely bare.

It may have been the hardest time of my life.

I fought it
hated it

couldn’t escape it
couldn’t understand it

I thought You had utterly forsaken me.

People wrote me off.

I wrote myself off.

But after all the agony, desperation and fireworks

I survived.
I’m still here.

Looking back…

it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Now I know I have nothing to fear when they lay bare my foundations

so long as my Foundation

is You.

We are very excited to announce that The Purity Report is now live!

For those of you who were already familiar with Higher-Calling.com, that site has been rebranded and relaunched as The Purity Report (www.purityreport.com). We still have the same great online community for those struggling with sexual sin. But the additional focus of accountability with The Purity Report gives you a powerful tool to create safe accountability relationships in the area of purity.

Check it out and stand with us. This is the year to get real, get honest and get free!

Happy New Year!

This short devotional from Lazaroo describes very well how we feel about confession and accountability. We shrink back in so many areas in our lives and put on masks. We hide from others and from God. We even hide from ourselves. The irony is that God sees us exactly as we are. Even when we are hiding from ourselves, we cannot hide from him.

Be Real

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Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
- Galations 6:2

Helping others. It is a very rewarding experience. When we enter a healing journey from habitual sin such as sex addiction, it feels good to lend a helping hand to another in need of support. When we have been struggling, it sometimes feels very natural to help others who are struggling too. It is a welcome distraction to the difficulty of resisting temptation. Scripture even directs us that “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4) As virtuous as it may seem to reach out to help fellow strugglers, we must hold to the whole counsel of scripture.

Jesus included this very topic, showing loving support to others, in what He described as the second greatest commandment in the entire Bible: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)

Amazingly, Jesus said that we have to love ourselves. Loving others and loving ourselves are inextricably linked. Paul confirms this in Gal. 6:2 and Php. 2:4 when he wrote that we should “carry each other’s burdens” and “look…to your own interests”. For some reason, the thought of helping another person can be a lot easier than reaching out for help ourselves. In order to “carry each other’s burdens” we have to be willing to let others carry our burdens as well. There is a mutual give-and-take implied in these scriptures. If we try to help others, yet do not seek help for ourselves, we are not fulfilling the law of Christ. We are in fact in violation of it.

It is incredibly important to continually share our burdens with our fellow Christians. In fact, if we are not willing to share our struggles with others, we actually disqualify ourselves from helping anyone with theirs. In order to experience the blessing of fulfilling the law of Christ and looking to the interests of others, we must first ensure that we have opened ourselves up. This keeps our hearts humble. Then as others look to us for support we can reach out to them from a position of meekness rather than one of superiority.

When we take the care to unburden our hearts, we are reminded that we struggle too. Not only so, but those that look to us for help realize that they are not alone. They can share their heart openly knowing that we truly understand their plight.

The next time you feel inspired to reach out and help others who are struggling, take a step back. First check your own heart to be sure that you have been open before the Lord and the people that He has placed in your life. Doing so allows these scriptures to be realized in our lives. There is nothing more exciting than when the word of God is made alive through the experience of it!

Lord, give us the courage to open our hearts. Let us be inspired by Your word that instructs us that while we are to help others, that we cannot neglect ourselves in the process. Give us the wisdom to allow others to carry our burdens and in so doing experience the blessing of the laws of grace being fulfilled in our lives.

I am very excited to announce a new direction and new focus for our ministry. As many of you know, we have endeavored over the years to create a safe online community where those who struggle with sexual integrity can come and receive support, encouragement, prayer and fellowship. We have been really successful in this and it has been a pleasure to be a part of.

After the New Year 2010, we will be rebranding and relaunching Higher-Calling.com. After the New Year, we will be known as “The Purity Report.” When you visit higher-calling.com you will be redirected to the new site.

What is The Purity Report? I’m glad you asked!

Most of us have seen or heard about accountability going badly. The church has not done a great job keeping accountability safe. It has tended to be too authoritarian or too unstructured. Neither are helpful and leave those struggling with purity frustrated or worse, believing a lie that the church does not have the answers!

The Purity Report is a simple framework for accountability relationships. It consists of a “script” for confession to be used by those struggling with purity and a set of guidelines for their accountability friends. The combination of these components foster safe and effective accountability.

The program begins with a 40-day challenge during which strugglers complete The Purity Report every day for 40 days. They share that daily report with someone they know personally. We also have specific forums to share the report with the online community, and tools on the website to help send the report to those who are not on the website through email. It takes about 5-10 minutes each day to complete the report. After the 40-day challenge, we encourage participants to continue using the report weekly to stay accountable long-term.

We will continue to foster a safe online community as we have always done. But, we are really excited to take this new direction. We have a vision to see accountability restored to the church and for many to be set free!

Please join us in sharing The Purity Report with your churches. If you would like, you can contact me at info@purityreport.com with any questions or if you would like us to discuss the program with your church.

You can visit the newly designed website at www.purityreport.com. It is still under development, but you can learn more about the program there.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

- Mark 12:30

While pondering this verse, what Jesus called “the greatest commandment” I was struck by how impossible this commandment really is to follow. I mean seriously, no matter how devoted, there are parts of my heart, soul, mind and strength that are devoted to many things other than loving the Lord my God.

Regardless, the command remains and I endeavor to follow it more perfectly. But, how do I go about doing that? I’m so prone to dogmatism and legalism. I want no part of the stinking self-righteousness that trying to be obedient to God in my own strength produces.

John taught that “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). This is the way in which I believe love and obedience grow gracefully.

1. I am loved by God
2. I receive that love and in turn love God
3. I obey God because I love Him

This begins with God, not with me. Love begins with God, not with me. Obedience begins with God, not me.

So looking back at the greatest commandment with this perspective, I am only able to love God with my heart to the extent that I have allowed God’s love to enter my heart. I am only capable of loving God with my soul to the extent I have allowed my soul to be loved by God. My mind will only love Him to the extent that I believe Jesus really loves my mind (even when it’s filled with ugly thoughts).

By contrast, to the extent that I hide my heart, soul, mind and strength from the love of God in Jesus Christ, I cannot love him nor obey his commands.

Let’s stop kidding ourselves; believing that our self-righteous, white-knuckling legalism is of any spiritual value. Obedience born of pride is not obedience at all. Only obedience inspired by the Love of God is true obedience. This is kind of obedience is of great value!

Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.

- John 14:21

Put simply: obedience begins with love and love begins with God.

He started it…let him finish it!

Last night I had a great conversation with Aaron Dailey. He and I were both RA’s together in Bible school. Well, it turns out that Aaron has recently kicked off a new ministry focused on equipping the church and Christian leaders to deal with sexual issues called Pure Path.

Needless to say, I was thrilled to hear about what Aaron and his team are doing. I look forward to seeing them grow and hopefully taking advantage of some of the resources they plan to develop.

There can never be too many in the fight for our character and integrity. In our society, this is never more true than in the area of sexuality. Go check out Pure Path and show them some love!

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

James 1:13-15

Let’s cut to the chase.

We all sin. We all fall short of God’s high standard of living. We have all lied, stolen, coveted, lusted (which is adultery according to Jesus), dishonored our parents, placed other things before God, and the list goes on. This is the reason that we need Jesus Christ in our lives. We simply cannot fulfill the laws that God laid out in the ten commandments.

But this study is not about sin or the law. This study is about temptation and how we can overcome it.

Let me level the playing field by pointing out “each one is tempted.” The King James Version reads “every man is tempted.” No man, woman or child alive is free from temptation. Mother Theresa was tempted to sin in the same way that you and I are. Even Jesus Christ Himself had to endure the draw of temptation to sin (see Hebrews 4:15).

So, where does temptation come from?

James immediately dispels any notion that God tempts us to sin. According to James 1:14 we are all tempted by the enticement of our own evil desires. Temptation does not come from without but from within. The lure of pornography or illicit sex does not come from pictures, pixels or prostitutes. The issue is the fallen flesh in which we live.

There is no question that Satan also tempts us. He is called “the tempter” and indeed tempted Christ. For the purpose of this study, I am focusing on the temptation that comes from within our flesh. But for the record, when Satan tempts us, he uses the evil desires that are in our flesh as a vehicle. He merely dangles the bait.

Speaking of bait! The Greek words used to describe being “dragged away and enticed” by our lusts are also used to describe a fisherman reeling in a fish hooked onto his line. This is a very appropriate picture. Imagine if you will a fish swimming in a lake. He comes across a tasty looking morsel floating by. But, he cannot see well enough to notice the hook embedded in the worm or the line leading to his ultimate demise. The fish is hungry and bites into the bait. The hook is set and the fish is hopelessly ensnared.

Now, the issue with this poor fish is not the bait that was waiting for him to come along. Many have said, “If we could ban all pornography and if women would dress appropriately then I wouldn’t be so tempted!” The fallacy of this kind of thinking cannot be overstated. The problem this fish had was that he was hungry! Because the fish was hungry the bait was completely irresistible. It was only a matter of time before this creature was hooked and dragged away. Of course, our temptation is not to eat a worm on a hook. Ours is much more subtle and deceptive. But, the problem we have is the same as that fish. Our flesh is hungry for sin. Our flesh knows nothing but sin and desires nothing but sin. Paul put it this way, “…nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature [flesh]. (Rom.7:18)”

Are you beginning to realize that the main issue with our temptation is our desire for sin? Thanks to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, sin has been taken care of. When we accept Jesus Christ into our lives and surrender to Him, the problem is no longer sin itself. The problem with temptation is our evil desires.

So what do we do about temptation? We cut to the root which are our evil desires! “First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” (Matt. 23:26)

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

God makes a very strong and comforting promise to use in the preceding verse. The temptation we endure is not unique to us. Others have experienced the same and have overcome them successfully. Furthermore, God in His faithfulness will only allow temptation to come upon us that we are able to conquer through Him. This means one of two things (or both):

1. God will now allow temptation greater than we can bear to come upon us.

2. God will strengthen us so that the temptation we are experiencing will not overtake us.

The most meaningful part of this verse for me is the last part: “…He will also provide a way out…”

Many times in the past I have tried different techniques to overcome temptation, and in particular sexual temptation. I have tried to pray more, read more scripture, be more accountable to other Christians, focus on Christian service, and the list goes on. I succeeded only in frustrating myself, burning myself out and becoming embittered toward the Christian life. I seemingly had no more power over my impulses after all of that activity than when I had begun. Worse, my anger and frustration was contributing to my addiction even more.

I have since come to discovery that the “way out” is not an activity, discipline or technique. He is a person!

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

John 14:6

Jesus Christ Himself is the way out of temptation. I will explain a few concepts first and then delve into practical application.

Paul wrote that God would “provide a way out” and Jesus declared that “I am the way.” Putting these verses together gave me the answer that I was looking for! But, there was one issue that I had to clear up first – acceptance.

Because of the nature of my sin (sexual addiction) I felt very ashamed and unacceptable to myself and to God. I felt unworthy of His help and His mercy. I knew that I had been forgiven because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, but I could not approach Him with any confidence because of my shame. Through learning about the grace of God as explained by Steve McVey in his book “Grace Walk” I came to realize that not only does Jesus’ sacrifice offer me forgiveness of my sin, but UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE INTO HIS PRESENCE! You will find that acceptance is a continual theme in my writing because it is foundational to everything I have experienced on the road to recovery.

McVey uses a simple question to help us come to grips with our acceptability with God. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, how acceptable to you feel to God right now? I have asked this question to dozens of people since first reading the book and I have very rarely heard anyone reply that they felt like they were a 10. Many of these people I respect deeply and would regard as very strong Christians. Yet the pattern remained that they did not feel 100% acceptable to the Father.

What this boils down to is that we do not feel like “10’s” because we are relying on some measure of self-effort to make ourselves “acceptable” to God. Only if we prayed more, read more scripture, gave more, served more, were not angry, were sexually pure, etc. This mindset has kept us from experiencing the love of God through Jesus Christ long enough! It is time to stop…right now!

YOU ARE A 10!

Now, you might be thinking, “Is he saying that I shouldn’t read more scripture, give, serve, pray or stay sexually pure?” No, that is not what I am saying. I am saying that if we engage in those activities to somehow feel more acceptable to the Lord then we have already missed the point.

There is nothing that we can do to make ourselves more acceptable to the Lord. Nor is there anything that we can do that would make us less acceptable to Him! Jesus Christ paid the full penalty for our sin and we died with Him at the cross. We are new creations that are perfect in His sight. When a believer gives into temptation and sits in front of a computer using pornography it certainly hurts the heart of God. But, He looks down upon us and accepts us unconditionally, even in the midst of our darkest moments!

If you struggle with this concept, I highly recommend getting a copy of “Grace Walk” and reading it thoroughly. A link is available under the Resources section of the website. But, I must move on to the purpose of this study which is temptation!

Now that we have established that Jesus accepts us (we are 10’s) even in our darkest moments, we can turn to Him in those moments and fellowship with Him.

Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Hebrews 2:18

Jesus Christ knows that we are tempted and He wants to help us through it. He understands because, as we discovered previously, He has also endured temptation. The way out of temptation is not to focus on anything else but Him. When we learn to fellowship with Jesus Christ in the midst of our temptation He strengthens us and turns our desires away from the object of our lust. The more we learn to turn to Him for help in the middle of temptation the more we become surrendered to His work within us. We are able to hear His voice in the midst of what formerly was a source of shame and despair.

I have found that my evil desires and temptation that comes through them no longer drag me away from the Lord. Now temptation actually drives me to Him! I am tempted dozens of times a day to do all sorts of unseemly things. I have found through this principle that I am in fellowship with Jesus much more often and have experience the peace that comes through resting in Him and allowing Him to handle the temptation for me. When I realize that a woman is in my presence that my eyes are drawn to, I begin to talk to Christ in my mind (and sometimes aloud). His peace and strength begin to flow through my thoughts and I feel His love and acceptance in that moment. Then my desires to look at that women are strongly overridden by the love and acceptance that Jesus offers to me. Jesus is doing His amazing work of changing my desires. I have seen my sinful desires, and in particular pornography, masturbation and objectifying women, wane significantly since I let Christ into my temptation.

Below is a summary of this study:

• Every human being endures temptation (James 1:13)
• We are tempted because of the evil desires in our flesh (James 1:14)
• Jesus accepts us unconditionally, even in the midst of our temptation (You are a 10!)
• God has promised us a way out of our temptation (1 Cor. 10:13)
• The way out of temptation is not a technique, but a Person – Jesus Christ (John 14:6)
• By turning to Jesus Christ in the moments when we are tempted, our temptations no longer drag us away from Christ but drive us to Him. (Heb. 2:18)
• As we let Jesus into our temptations He changes our desires from the inside.

(originally posted on higher-calling.com)

At the Catalyst Conference this past week, Dave Ramsey spoke on something he calls “The Momentum Theorem.” He provided each conference attendee with a coin with the following formula inscribed on it.

It goes like this: Focused intensity over Time multiplied by God equals unstoppable Momentum.

Rather than try to reproduce what other bloggers have already written, I decided to go to YouTube. Lo and behold! Dave Ramsey delivered essentially the same talk at a church a while back. It is well worth checking out. Here is the first part of the message (it is broken into four parts).

These are the direct links to the other three parts of the message.

The Momentum Theorem Part 2 0f 4

The Momentum Theorem Part 3 of 4

The Momentum Theorem Part 4 of 4

Okay, so you may be asking what this has to do with our primary vision – to help those who struggle with or have been hurt by sexual sin find healing. It is because at times, recovery is hard. In fact, there are times when you feel like you are sliding backwards (read backsliding). It requires a lot of focus, intensity and consistent application of them over time to make it in recovery.

You will not find wholeness through half measures!

We have to trust Jesus to help us focus, to stay intent upon the prize of purity and to sustain us in good times and in bad. We can capture momentum in recovery, like in any other arena of life. It does get easier, but not until we apply ourselves to it.

This simple theorem is a great reminder. Write it down, memorize it, and remember it when things are going well…and when things aren’t going so well. God will multiply our efforts to live for him, and that is what this is all about.