Part of me misses porn and masturbating sometimes. I have to remind myself that my heart is good (because that’s where Jesus lives) and I don’t have to do those things. The true me, the new me, doesn’t really want them. The thing is, I’m not perfect, so I waver and struggle with temptation at times.

I know my heart and I know that Jesus lives there…and it is good because Jesus says so. When the lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the pride of life scream to me that I am a dirty rotten sinner, I have to remind myself firmly that Jesus lives in my heart and it is good. He has taken my heart of stone and given me a heart of flesh. I just haven’t been completely transformed by the renewing of my mind yet.

This is no excuse to indulge the flesh. But it is the only effective inoculation I have found against the shame and despair that the flesh can throw my way. I have to get honest with myself and others about my temptations. Admitting a part of me misses it…that’s the truth sometimes. Getting it out in the open seems so risky, but is so necessary.

I don’t want to click post on this blog, but here goes…