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Relativism and Pornography
Published January 31, 2012 | 
The World Dictionary defines Relativism as follows:
…any theory holding that truth or moral or aesthetic value, etc, is not universal or absolute but may differ between individuals or cultures.
A phrase used in relativistic thinking is, “There is no absolute truth.” Of course, that very statement violates the philosophical law of non-contradiction, which states that a precept cannot be both true and false at the same time in the same way. Saying, “There is no absolute truth.” is an absolute truth statement, which nullifies itself as self-contradictory.
Regardless of this obvious contradiction, relativistic thinking, particularly with regards to morality, is pervasive in our culture. How many times have you heard, “What’s true for you may not be true for me.” The outworkings of functional relativism, as I’ll call it, ultimately result in humanism. Man is the ultimate arbiter of truth, and since men have differences one to another, so truth claims have no absolute authority over individuals.
Relativism poses significant issues to the Christian worldview. As a Christian, God is the ultimate authority and arbiter of truth. Furthermore, Christian orthodoxy holds that God has revealed his moral law to humanity through the Bible. This is the standard by which Christians are to measure themselves and the world around them. The doctrine of God’s sovereignty, creation, sin, the fall of man, and the atonement through Jesus Christ are central precepts to Christianity.
What is clear is that American Christians, especially with regards to sex, are largely identical to society at large. Divorce rates, pregnancy out of wedlock, consumption of pornography, even abortion, and so forth measure similarly. One way in which Christians in the Bible are specifically exhorted by the Bible to be distinct to those around them is in the area of sex (see 1 Cor. 6:12-20). However, what we actually see is no real difference. This is could be called hypocritical at best.
So what does relativism have to do with the church’s hypocrisy regarding sex?
No firm believer in Christianity and the Bible would adhere to full-on relativism, “There is no absolute truth.” But the seeds of relativistic thinking are present, evidenced by inconsistent profession of belief and actual behavior (again read hypocrisy). Most Christian men, for example, would agree that the use of pornography represents lustful, and therefore sinful behavior. They would not recommend it to others as a beneficial to the spiritual life and relationship with Jesus Christ. Their behavior, on the other hand, reveals they do not apply this same assertion to themselves. Christian men, who would not recommend pornography to others, are frequent consumers of it. This is evidence of an underlying functional relativism as it relates to pornography.
Why is this an important point? Isn’t this just sin requiring repentance? Why all the talk about relativism?
Yes, pornography is sin in the Christian worldview (see Matt. 5:28). Its production and consumption are both sinful according to biblical standards of morality. The issue with simply slapping the label of “sin” on it and moving on is that it short-circuits deep self-reflection on the issue. In our modern vernacular, the term “sin” has such a behavioral emphasis that it is applied only to abstinence from prohibited actions. This detracts from the process of repentance, which is generally defined as a “change of mind.” Changing one’s mind requires thinking about an issue, not merely willing a change of behavior.
Romans 12:2 admonishes us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” In order for the mind to be renewed, it must actually be used. If we stop at “sin” as wrong behavior, we discourage the use of our minds to actually think about what is going on, allow the truth of God to penetrate our thinking, and bring about a change of thinking. Asserting you have bought into functional relativism, evidenced by hypocrisy, beckons each of us to take a long, hard look at ourselves. This engages the mind, brings light to our thinking, and results in changes in thought and hence behavior.
When was the last time you heard someone teach that we should repent of the sin of functional relativism, evidenced by immorality? There’s something that makes me think!
There is obviously much more to say about this topic, but I will stop here to keep it brief. What do you think? How has functional relativism kept us from arriving at the place where porn is not an option?
Posted in Purity, Sexual Addiction | 
behavior, brokenness, character, God, growth, heart, lust, marriage, porn, Recovery, relationships, salvation, sex, sex trafficking, shame, sin, temptation | 
Leave a comment7 Surprising (and Negative) Effects of Porn
Published January 28, 2012 | ChurchLeaders.com recently posted a brief, yet eye-opening article about some of the negative effects of pornography. Here is a synopsis.
1. Porn Contributes to Social and Psychological Problems Within Men
2. Porn Rewires the Male Brain
3. Porn Turns Sex into Masturbation
4. Porn Demeans and Objectifies Women
5. Porn Squashes the Beauty of a Real Naked Woman
6. Porn Has a Numbing Effect Upon Reality
7. Porn Lies About What it Means to Be Male and Female
I encourage you to check out the article in its entirety to read the descriptions given for each of these negative effects. Thank you, ChurchLeaders.com, for adding a much-needed voice to the awareness of this issue!
Posted in Purity, Sexual Addiction | addiction, character, emotions, intimacy, love, lust, masturbation, porn, Purity, Recovery, sex, sin, Spouses, temptation | 2 CommentsWill the Truth Set You Free?
Published January 26, 2012 | 
This is one of the most often quoted verses. In John 8:32, Jesus’ words linking truth to freedom offer encouragement and inspire us to seek truth in the pursuit of personal freedom.
But there is a problem. Many who come into the church, and even discover a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ, do not experience freedom. They remain trapped in bondage to sin and warped thinking. They remain stuck in their lives and do not know how to move forward. Sadly, many of these same people leave the church, or worse leave faith altogether. They leave disillusioned and come, through their own experience, to believe the words of Jesus must not be true – or not true for them for reasons they cannot explain. This, of course, would be immediately validated by the relativistic world around us that says what is true for one may not be true for another.
So what is the answer? Is Jesus right? Why is the freedom promised by Jesus not a reality in the lives of so many? To find out, we have to go back to the source. Let’s look at the scripture in its proper context.
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32 NIV)
Taken in its full context, you can see what geeky software developers like myself call a conditional, if/then statement.
If you hold to my teaching…
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
What becomes immediately apparent is that truth is not the beginning of Jesus’ thought. Rather the truth, which results in freedom, has its root in holding to his teaching. We must listen to and apply the teaching of Jesus to our lives, regularly and consistently over time, in order to know the truth of his teaching and experience the freedom promised.
How do I arrive at this conclusion that it is “consistently and regularly over time” you may ask? Well, since I posed the question, I will answer it.
The Greek word used for “hold to” is meno. In the King James Version, this word is translated as “continue” in John 8:31. Interestingly, meno is the same Greek word from which we translate “abide” in John 15:4-10. This is another famous passage where Jesus instructs us that if we “if we abide in him”, the vine, “then we will bear much fruit.” There it is again, a conditional, if/then statement! The point is clear – there are conditions on our part to really experience freedom.
To be very clear, this is not a study of salvation. It is a study on how we can experience freedom from the grip of bondage to sin. Salvation and freedom both work in our lives by grace, through faith (Eph. 2:8-10; Gal. 3:1-3; Php. 2:13). Faith then works through love (Gal. 5:6). However, I will go so far as to say that if one does not possess a desire to hold to the teachings of Jesus and apply them to his or her life, they could question whether they have accepted the Gospel, or given mere mental ascent to Jesus as a “good teacher” or otherwise. Paul would advise us all to examine ourselves to see whether we are in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5). True faith should at some point be evidenced by a desire to apply the teachings of Jesus and grow in them. Every believer should pray earnestly over these issues.
Truth as expressed by Jesus is not merely knowledge of fact vs. fiction, but an experiential knowledge. This truth can only be rooted in experience. We must take it upon ourselves to learn Jesus teachings. We then must vigorously apply those teachings to our lives. Through application, we come to a personal/experiential knowledge of their truth and veracity, resulting in freedom!
Mariska Hargitay on Boyhood Sexual Abuse
Published January 25, 2012 | Actress Mariska Hargitay, famous for her role in the television show Law and Order SVU, was published on the Huffington Post today. In the article, she talks about some of the startling statistics on the prevalence of male, childhood sexual abuse. She started a foundation in 2004 called the Joyful Heart Foundation.
In Mariska’s words:
At Joyful Heart, the foundation I started in 2004 to help survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse heal and reclaim their lives, we are proud to share in the vision of one day ending violence against all people. We hope to send this message to all survivors: We hear you. We believe you. We feel for you. You are not alone. And your healing is our priority.
You can read her article, entitled “Personal Fouls” here…
While we may differ in some of the ways to address the issue, faith vs. secular, I applaud Mariska’s courage to take a stand on a difficult issue.
Dr. Earl Henslin – Sex & the Brain
Published January 24, 2012 | In this episode of Pure Passion TV, Dr Earl Henslin, author of “This Is Your Brain on Joy“, talks about sex and its effects on the physiology of the brain. Starting at about minute 19 in the video he really kicks into the topic of sexual addiction and the brain in great detail. He talks about medication, therapy, brain trauma and even congenital brain issues affecting impulse control and addiction.
It is fascinating, and quite helpful for those who are greatly struggling with impulse control and addiction.
Posted in Sexual Addiction | addiction, behavior, brokenness, growth, healing, intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, Purity, Recovery, sex, sin | Leave a commentFasting Sex In Marriage – Part 2
Published January 19, 2012 | A sexual fast is biblical because sex as an idol must be torn down.
A sexual fast is biblical because it helps remove sex or lust from being an idol. What does the Bible say about idols in our lives? It says over and over again that we are to bow down only to God himself, no one else.
“For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person – such a man is an idolater – has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.”
Ephesians 5:5
In this passage the bible equates someone who is immoral with someone who is an idolater. The Bible calls the immoral man also guilty of idolatry. 1 Thess. 1:9 says that we are to turn from idols to serve the loving God. All throughout the Old Testament God commands his people to not get ensnared into idol worship and to tear down the idols.
A great illustration of this is the great revival of King Josiah found in 2 Kings 23. King Josiah basically got his heart right with God and began to tear down the symbols of idol worship in the land. Those symbols were called Asherah poles. This was the name of a sensual Canaanite goddess Astarte, the feminine of the Assyrian Ishtar. Its symbol was the stem of a tree deprived of its boughs, and rudely shaped into an image, and planted in the ground. (Easton’s 1897 Bible Dictionary from “BibleGateway.com”) Josiah rightly knew he had to tear down any idol or it would be a snare to the people. Why is a sexual fast biblical? Because since lust and sex has become the idol then that idol must be torn down. Just like a drug addict must give up his drug so must the sex addict give up the idol of lust.
Possible Consequences
Don’t misunderstand the consequences of a man tearing down the idol of porn and masturbation. While each person is different for myself the thought of giving up my right to porn and masturbation was one of the most difficult issues I’ve ever faced. The pain of withdrawal drove me to anger, irritability, rage and physical symptoms such as my hands shaking. A man honestly dealing with his sexual addiction is a brave man in my mind. He may go through horrible withdrawals emotionally and physically the journey to sobriety is hellish with no exaggeration.
Porn Is Not An Option
Published January 18, 2012 | I have been impressed with a thought recently…
Porn Is Not An Option
This thought has been coming back to me again and again. I shared it with a struggling friend who asked if I meant restricting access to porn through filters and so forth. While that certainly fits with this phrase, it falls short of the meaning in my heart.
A marriage ministry in my area is well-known for saying “divorce is not an option.” They recommend couples take divorce off of the table. Whatever issues they are facing, whatever conflict they are going through, divorce should be completely and mutually taken off the table as a viable option. This frees them to focus on the issues at hand, rather than ultimatums regarding the marriage itself. They go on to say that as long as divorce is on the table, every other issue on the table is shrouded in its shadow. Taking divorce off of the table allows all of the other issues to be worked on without the fear of the D word – the ultimate escape hatch.
The P word has been an escape hatch for me – a parachute of sorts. When I feel like the bottom has dropped out of my life, I can just pull the chute and up pops my savior, lowering me gently to the ground. The problem is the parachute falls down around me and offers no support once I am back on earth – where my real problems live! It was a great ride, but leaves me with nothing more than a temporary rush. It is the ultimate non-solution.
“Porn is not an option” means that for me, as a follower of Jesus Christ, pornography is simply not an option for me. I have taken it off the table as a viable alternative. As long as porn is an option for me, evidenced by the fact that I would use it frequently or infrequently, all of the other issues are shrouded by it. It colors everything – my perspective on God, his goodness, the care of others and the important issues in my life.
What does it take to come to the place where porn is not an option?
Is rape an option? Is robbing banks an option? What about murder? Am I suggesting that porn is on par with these? No. But, I am suggesting that until we categorize pornography as a personal, moral issue against which we have taken a firm stance, we probably will continue using it. It is still an option. Regardless of the consequences, the temporary lift it may bring is worth it. There are plenty of things in our lives that we have decided are not options for us. Pornography has to join the ranks of those things against which we have taken a personal stand.
Will you join me? Will you take a stand that whatever it takes, I will get to the place where porn is not an option? When the temptation hits and access is available, I have to choose something else – something greater than porn. I choose differently because porn is not an option!
Posted in marriage, Purity, Recovery | accountability, addiction, behavior, character, confession, growth, heart, marriage, porn, Purity, relationships, sex, sin, temptation | 2 CommentsFasting Sex in Marriage – Part 1
Published January 12, 2012 | Is the voluntary abstaining from sexual activity for the married couple biblical?
Most husbands when told about a sexual fast are not excited at the idea. It might sound like punishment for their sexual sins. Some who are familiar with the Bible might ask about 1 Corinthians chapter 7. They might (with support from a spiritual leader such as a pastor) site 1 Cor. 7 as the proof that a voluntary sexual fast is unbiblical so let’s look at that verse:
1 Cor. 7:1-5
“Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” NIV
The male sex addict thinks something like this “well that is very clear, the Bible teaches that my wife should give me sex so I won’t fall into temptation”. His logical conclusion is if his wife isn’t giving him sex then it’s partially her fault if he falls into temptation and succumb to his addiction. Many wives are thus given a guilt trip about not giving their husbands enough sex.
The problem with that logic is that it doesn’t place the verse in it’s rightful context and it’s a great example of blame shifting. Paul is not addressing sexual addiction with this passage. He is talking about a normal marriage, a non-addicted marriage. In the context of the verse it is normal for a typical man to feel tempted and that temptation is manageable when the man and his wife are regularly intimate. So Paul concludes that its better that these Corinthian believers marry and have regular sexual relations with their spouse than to continually fight with temptation. For these people there was even confusion about whether sex was moral or if even marriage was proper. Paul acknowledges that marriage is good and sex within marriage is encouraged.
The problem with a male sex addict is that he has made sex too important, he is using sex to numb pain, numb uncomfortable emotional pain, numb poor self image and even numb feelings of being a pervert or a loser. If a male sex addict feels threatened or stressed he will immediately turn to lust. Lust in the past comforted him. Lust was a chemical release that changed his moods and even helped him to sleep. For the sex addict lust has become a little “god” in his life. The sex addict has surrendered his ability to fight back on his own. He is too weak now to deny the “urge” when it hits him. He has become a slave to the chemicals in his brain that are released when he is sexually aroused and when he climaxes. Those chemicals rush through his brain comforting him and helping him to relax but they are quickly followed up with feelings of shame, guilt, anger, rage, helplessness and being controlled & manipulated. Not to mention that sexual addiction (generally speaking as in all sin) is basically deep-seated selfishness. As one sex addict commented, “I’m not much but I’m all I think about”.
Lust as a “god” demands payment. The sex addict gives that payment by giving his body, his dignity, his moral standards and possibly his job and his marriage. Lust is a horrible “god” taking and seldom giving back. “Lust” as one man revealed “is never satisfied it is like the grave”. Thus most sex addicts feel like complete idiots for investing so much time and energy into something that never satisfies. One man revealed he felt that being a sex addict is a little like someone being repeatedly raped only to find out that you are raping yourself. You are being abused and you are the abuser. The way to get rid of that feeling is to lust more and then a vicious cycle starts where the only way to stop is to do it again and again and again…a insane life style if there ever was one.
Stop the Candy Shop
Published January 4, 2012 | Up to 500 underaged girls a month are trafficked for sex here in our city of Atlanta. It’s the number one city in the country for child sex trafficking. The 10th in the world.
This film represents the spearhead of a citywide and possibly a nationwide campaign. It is not a documentary. It is not a PSA. It is the beginning of a movement. View the complete film at the following link:
Visit the Street Grace website to find out more information and get involved directly.
Escaping the Porn Trap
Published January 4, 2012 | In this screen-cast, we answer the questions:
- How big is the porn problem?
- What is porn addiction?
- What is the cycle of addiction?
- What is the way out?
We hope it will be helpful to you in your journey to walk in purity.
Posted in Purity | accountability, addiction, behavior, character, confession, emotions, Grace, intimacy, lust, porn, Purity, Purity Report, sex, shame, sin, temptation | Leave a comment
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