XXXChurch on Porn Sunday
Published February 5, 2011 | 
Our good friend, Michelle Truax, from XXXChurch was interviewed this weekend about Porn Sunday. You can view the media interview below. Michelle was instrumental in the founding of our site for women, Partners for Purity.
The Porn Sunday event is being held on Super Bowl Sunday, Feb. 6 and more than 300 churches from all over the U.S. are participating. The churches will play a 40-minute video simulcast featuring Jon Kitna, Matt Hasselbeck, Ryan Pickett, Josh McCown and a few other NFL players and founder of XXXchurch, Craig Gross.
The goal for the event is to get churches talking about the “elephant in the pew” and get people help that are struggling with porn and sex addiction.
The Porn Sunday video will be available to watch on the website on Sunday, Feb 6th all day.
Purity Bytes Podcast – Episode 3 – HALT
Published February 2, 2011 | 
The Purity Bytes Podcast (on iTunes)
Byte-sized chunks of wisdom about sexual purity…
Episode 3: H.A.L.T.
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
In this episode, we talk about four common triggers for addictive behavior.
Purity Bytes Podcast – Episode 2 – What is Sex Addiction?
Published January 19, 2011 |
The Purity Bytes Podcast (on iTunes)
Byte-sized chunks of wisdom about sexual purity…
Episode 2:
What is Sex or Porn Addiction?
How do I know if I am a Sex or Porn Addict?
In this episode, we define sex and porn addiction. We also give a few tools to help you discover if you are addicted to sex and/or pornography.
Posted in Purity Bytes | 
addiction, intimacy, Podcast, porn, Recovery, relationships, sex | 
Leave a commentTeens Against Porn Relaunched as Br3aking Porn!
Published January 16, 2011 | 
We are really excited about this announcement! Our website for teens, Teens Against Pornography, is officially no more. It has been rebranded, retooled and relaunced as Br3aking Porn.
What is Br3aking Porn?
Br3aking Porn is designed to help teenagers who struggle with pornography and sexual purity. It is a place where teenagers can come to seek help in a safe, anonymous, Christ-centered community.
We provide 3 Distinct sets of tools to help with this journey:
- Blog – to teach about sexual purity and entertain
- Forum – to facilitate safe discussions, accountability and entertainment where teenagers learn from people who have been there, done that, and can aid them in their journal toward sexual purity
- Resources – to inspire sexual purity through recommended books, articles, programs and links
If you are a teen in need of help or know of one, go to Br3aking Porn.
Break the Silence, Break the Cycle and Break Free!
Posted in News, Purity, Recovery | accountability, addiction, Br3aking Porn, porn, Purity, Recovery, teens | Leave a commentThe Desensitization of Porn and Masturbation – Revisited
Published December 29, 2010 | A few months ago we posted the story of a man who had difficulty being aroused by his wife because he had been so desensitized by porn and masturbation. He has graciously given us a continuation of his story.
Last Monday, we had planned to make love. For some reason, I was not responding to the caressing by my wife or anything else we tried during foreplay. It was just not happening. While lying there, I was not greatly angered or frustrated; just disappointed. Again, my wife was supportive and encouraging. Without thinking, I started to discuss with her the contents of what I wrote in the blog without mentioning I had posted it on the Internet, (she would have been OK with this). She fully understood how the affects of chronic porn and masturbation can rewire one’s thinking and desensitization to other forms of sexual stimuli other than porn and masturbation. I mentioned to her that I was trying to focus my attention on her as the only source of sexual stimuli and response and she was encouraged by this. I was just about to say to her that we will try next time, when I felt a sudden peace and urge to try again. I felt God’s presence in the room and I knew then it was His urging and everything would turn out fine! Without saying anything to my wife, I re-started foreplay and found myself getting aroused as I focused my thoughts on her which ended up in us making love. I was pleased, relieved and thankful for God for His peace, urging and enablement.
It just gave me confirmation that I was on the right track and that I have to continue to do eradicate/control/surrender all forms of temptation to Him and concentrate on my wife as my only source of sexual stimuli and satisfaction and therefore keep this in the confines of marital boundaries as God originally intended.
I am not saying it is going to be easy from this point on; it is not, but it has shown me there is hope for me and I don’t have to settle for a lie any more or second rate sexuality, that I can have the sexual and intimate expression of love and relationship God intended and has provided for my wife and I.
Posted in Purity | addiction, behavior, intimacy, marriage, masturbation, porn, sex, Spouses | 2 CommentsWhat Gorilla?
Published December 27, 2010 | Ever felt this way? I know it’s a parody of addiction, but it’s not too far from reality. When we are in denial, addiction can wreak havoc in our lives and the lives of those around us!
Best line at the end – “It’s the truth that sets you free, and accountability that keeps you there.”
Celebrating Fourteen Years
Published December 23, 2010 | 
I picked up this chip last Tuesday at Celebrate Recovery.
It was fourteen years ago this week that I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. It was also fourteen years ago this week that I last used any illegal drugs. Needless to say, I am incredibly grateful to God for the grace he has given me to stay away from drugs.
Struggling with pornography, however, was a part of my life before I began using drugs and persisted long after. It is this struggle that God used to bring me into recovery. He chose to remove drugs from me without journeying through recovery. But, he chose to use porn addiction to humble me and teach me how to depend upon him for freedom.
What a long, strange, and wonderful trip it’s been! I look forward to what God is going to do in the future. Thanks for sharing this with me! Merry Christmas!
Processing “Slips” in Recovery
Published December 18, 2010 | Don’t Let Your Lust Go Unaccounted For!
A while ago we blogged about identifying the biggest triggers for our lust. The point of that blog post was to encourage us to proactively identify what the main triggers for our lust may be and put guardrails in place to safeguard us from them.
Triggers can be very different from person to person, but generally fall into two categories:
- Physical Triggers (people, places, things)
- Emotional Triggers (feelings, thoughts, circumstances)
One of the most important aspects of recovery from porn/sex addiction is taking the time after a “slip” to process what happened. What were the specific triggers leading up to this particular episode?
Using the categories of physical and emotional triggers, we can gain valuable insight into our addiction after giving in to sin. Looking at it differently, you could say that it is discovering what the enemy used to gain access to our lives in this instance. Furthermore, over time we will see patterns emerging. This information about our addiction is absolutely necessary if we are to find real, lasting freedom from sexual sin.
Here are some questions that may be helpful when looking back and processing a fall. When answering them, don’t think just about the exact time that you acted out, but think about the last week or so leading up to it.
Physical Triggers
- What places did I go to that triggered lustful thoughts and feelings (including places online)?
- What people did I encounter that triggered lustful thoughts and feelings?
- What things did I come across that triggered lustful thoughts and feelings (including things online)?
Emotional Triggers
- What specific feelings have I wanted to escape or numb myself to? How long have I had these feelings?
- What has my mood or attitude been like? What has contributed to my mood or attitude?
- What feelings of anger or frustration have I been feeling? What is the cause of that anger or frustration? Who is involved?
- What feelings of resentment am I feeling? Who are those feelings directed toward?
- What stressful circumstances have I been dealing with? How have these contributed to the feelings I listed above?
- What have my predominant thoughts been focused upon? How do these thoughts mesh with the feelings and circumstances I listed above?
- What thoughts have specifically led to fantasy and arousal? How long have I been entertaining these thoughts? What feelings and circumstances have been in play since I have entertained these thoughts?
The next step is to decide what you are going to do with this information. How can you use it to help protect yourself from giving into sin in the future? What do you need to pray for wisdom and strength to guard against? Where do you need to specifically shore up your accountability? What do you need to avoid altogether?
Taking the time to carefully and courageously reflect upon our physical and emotional triggers is a non-negotiable aspect of recovery from addiction. Make a pact with yourself and your accountability network that you will always take the time to complete such an inventory when you give in to your lust. Don’t wait days or weeks to process your slip. Our addictive minds quickly cover up all of this junk when we act out. Take advantage of the time fresh from a fall, when your emotions are still raw and your conscience is screaming, to reflect upon what happened. You will not regret it!
A-Z Reasons to Stop Viewing Porn
Published December 18, 2010 | 26 Destructive Consequences Porn Viewing Has on a Man
The following destructive consequences are the result of a Christian man viewing pornography. The A to Z format covers the wide range of negative results that porn has on a man who is a follower of Jesus.
Alienates You From God. You no longer feel close to God. You don’t experience the power of God. You no longer have the joy of your salvation.
Blinds You To The Consequences. It temporarily turns off your walk with God, your relationships with your wife, your children, and others. It blinds you to what is going to happen to you spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, vocationally, and relationally.
Creates Unrealistic Expectations. Men begin to think this is what every woman should look like and that this is what your relationships with your wife is to be like.
Distorts Your View Of Sex. It makes you believe that sex is solely for the pleasure of a man and that women are simply objects to be used rather than God’s creations to be honored and respected.
Enough Is Never Enough. Pornography has an escalating effect. Like a drug you need more and more to satisfy the lust. It takes you further down a destructive path and further away from peace, joy, and healthy relationships.
Freedom Over What You Think And Do Is Lost. You become enslaved to your sinful thoughts which lead to sinful actions.
Guilt Comes Upon You After You Look At Porn, But The Guilt Is Not Enough To Prevent You From Doing It The Next Time.
Healthy Sexuality Is Numbed Through Porn. Healthy sex is married sex only that includes regular sex, unselfish sex, and loving sex.
Isolates You And Makes You Feel You Are All Alone And Are The Only One Who Struggles With Porn And Lust.
Jeopardizes Your Relationship With Your Wife Or Future Wife (if you are single), Your Witness For Jesus Christ, And Everything In Your Life That Is Important To You. You Put It All On The Line For Pornography.
Keeps You In S Cycle Of Self Destructive Behavior. It may appear to medicate the pain in your life, but it only adds to the pain with more pain. Porn leads you to do things you never thought you would do. Sin will take you further than you want to go. It will keep you longer than you want to stay. And it will cost you more than you want to pay (Unknown Author).
Lust—Sexual Sinful Lust—Leads To Sexual Sinful Actions. Porn put in your mind is like putting fuel on the fire of wrong sexual desire resulting in destructive thoughts and actions.
Masks The Real Wound You Are Seeking To Heal And Makes Things Worse.
Never A Neutral Experience. You cannot look at porn and not be affected by it. That experience is always inconsistent with God’s Word.
Objectifies Women. It makes them a sexual object. Porn hijacks a man’s ability to see an older woman as a mother figure, a same-aged woman as a sister figure, and a younger woman as a daughter figure.
Porn Initially Brings A Very Short-Lived Pleasure, Followed By Pain And More Pain
Quitting Becomes The Struggle Of A Lifetime. Once you allow porn in, there is a raging battle with Satan and your old nature to keep looking. Once you have allowed porn into your life, there will always be a battle. It is a winnable battle, but a daily battle.
Remains Imbedded In Your Mind Forever. Satan uses that image to replay in your mind to create a cycle of sinful lust again and to drive you back to looking at porn. You become bound to an image and a not a person.
Shame Enters Your Life. Guilt is feeling badly for something you have done, shame, however, is based on feeling badly about who you are. Pornography brings shame. God never brings shame. Satan always brings shame.
Trust Is Broken With The People You Love And Respect The Most.
Unlocks The Door To Every Sexual Sin. Porn is a portal, a gateway that leads to nothing good and everything painful such as compulsive masturbation, affairs, dangerous sexual practices, visiting adult-oriented businesses, paying for sex, perverted sexual practices and sexual abuse.
Violates Women. How? You are putting your stamp of approval on an industry that degrades and dehumanizes women.
Wandering Eyes Toward Other Women are Invited .
Xtinguishes Truth. Pornography promotes lying. You lie to others, you lie to God, and you lie to yourself. You lie more to cover up past lies. You become a living lie.
Yokes You To An Image. You become bound and attached to the image instead of your wife or future wife if you are single.
Zips Your Lips To Praising God, Speaking About Your Faith, And Telling Others How They Can Experience God.
Reproduced with permission from XXXChurch.com
Admitting to God
Published December 15, 2010 | Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Blessed is the man who always fears the LORD, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble.
Proverbs 28:13-14 NLT
“My false and private self is the one who wants to exist outside the reach of God’s will and God’s love – outside of reality and outside of life. And such a self cannot help but be an illusion.” -Thomas Merton
Admitting to God
Getting honest about the details of our lives is the most powerful thing we can do to strengthen our intimate connection with God. Honesty puts us on the same page with Him. Knowing that He knows everything about us, there is no reason to hide what is inside of us anymore. When we get honest with God, we “cash the check” so to speak; we open ourselves up and receive the grace that He has already provided for us, through Christ.
Step Five is not a religious exercise so it’s important that we don’t over -spiritualize this aspect of our recovery. We are just admitting, with as much detail as we can, what God already knows. We acknowledge that we have never benefited from minimizing our weaknesses and shortcomings. We admit our pride and our stubbornness, with as much clarity as possible, most notably all of our silly attempts to solve our spiritual and emotional problems. We confess that we have been self righteousness in covert and creative ways. We admit that we have never fooled God and that we rarely fooled anyone else, only ourselves. We tell the details about how we have judged other people and, with as much humility as possible, we admit how our religiosity has kept God, and the goodness that He intends for us, at arm’s length.
God has known us in a deep way. Now we will begin to know ourselves in a deep way, too. As we are willing to admit the exact nature of our wrongs to God, we will be able to accept the acceptance that He gives. As we accept the acceptance that He gives, we will begin to accept ourselves in the same way; even the worst about us. The more we admit our shortcomings to God, the more we slice away at the fears that have ruled us from the inside. We will learn to be at peace with the mysterious ways of God. Accepting His deep acceptance, we will no longer be obsessed with trying to figure out the hidden streams and currents of God. We will lose our inhibitions. We will want to strip down, reveal ourselves completely and swim in the power of goodness that God offers to us. We will never sink or get lost when we are honest with God. He’ll do the navigating for us. Knowing that we are known by God in this intimate way, we can live at rest. We will be buoyed in His grace forever, floating and moving with the currents of His guidance and care. There is no need to fear the oceanic mystery of God anymore. No matter where His currents lead our lives, the ultimate destination for us is more than very, very good.
Reproduced with the permission of Operation Integrity
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