Relativism and Pornography
Published January 31, 2012 | 
The World Dictionary defines Relativism as follows:
…any theory holding that truth or moral or aesthetic value, etc, is not universal or absolute but may differ between individuals or cultures.
A phrase used in relativistic thinking is, “There is no absolute truth.” Of course, that very statement violates the philosophical law of non-contradiction, which states that a precept cannot be both true and false at the same time in the same way. Saying, “There is no absolute truth.” is an absolute truth statement, which nullifies itself as self-contradictory.
Regardless of this obvious contradiction, relativistic thinking, particularly with regards to morality, is pervasive in our culture. How many times have you heard, “What’s true for you may not be true for me.” The outworkings of functional relativism, as I’ll call it, ultimately result in humanism. Man is the ultimate arbiter of truth, and since men have differences one to another, so truth claims have no absolute authority over individuals.
Relativism poses significant issues to the Christian worldview. As a Christian, God is the ultimate authority and arbiter of truth. Furthermore, Christian orthodoxy holds that God has revealed his moral law to humanity through the Bible. This is the standard by which Christians are to measure themselves and the world around them. The doctrine of God’s sovereignty, creation, sin, the fall of man, and the atonement through Jesus Christ are central precepts to Christianity.
What is clear is that American Christians, especially with regards to sex, are largely identical to society at large. Divorce rates, pregnancy out of wedlock, consumption of pornography, even abortion, and so forth measure similarly. One way in which Christians in the Bible are specifically exhorted by the Bible to be distinct to those around them is in the area of sex (see 1 Cor. 6:12-20). However, what we actually see is no real difference. This is could be called hypocritical at best.
So what does relativism have to do with the church’s hypocrisy regarding sex?
No firm believer in Christianity and the Bible would adhere to full-on relativism, “There is no absolute truth.” But the seeds of relativistic thinking are present, evidenced by inconsistent profession of belief and actual behavior (again read hypocrisy). Most Christian men, for example, would agree that the use of pornography represents lustful, and therefore sinful behavior. They would not recommend it to others as a beneficial to the spiritual life and relationship with Jesus Christ. Their behavior, on the other hand, reveals they do not apply this same assertion to themselves. Christian men, who would not recommend pornography to others, are frequent consumers of it. This is evidence of an underlying functional relativism as it relates to pornography.
Why is this an important point? Isn’t this just sin requiring repentance? Why all the talk about relativism?
Yes, pornography is sin in the Christian worldview (see Matt. 5:28). Its production and consumption are both sinful according to biblical standards of morality. The issue with simply slapping the label of “sin” on it and moving on is that it short-circuits deep self-reflection on the issue. In our modern vernacular, the term “sin” has such a behavioral emphasis that it is applied only to abstinence from prohibited actions. This detracts from the process of repentance, which is generally defined as a “change of mind.” Changing one’s mind requires thinking about an issue, not merely willing a change of behavior.
Romans 12:2 admonishes us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” In order for the mind to be renewed, it must actually be used. If we stop at “sin” as wrong behavior, we discourage the use of our minds to actually think about what is going on, allow the truth of God to penetrate our thinking, and bring about a change of thinking. Asserting you have bought into functional relativism, evidenced by hypocrisy, beckons each of us to take a long, hard look at ourselves. This engages the mind, brings light to our thinking, and results in changes in thought and hence behavior.
When was the last time you heard someone teach that we should repent of the sin of functional relativism, evidenced by immorality? There’s something that makes me think!
There is obviously much more to say about this topic, but I will stop here to keep it brief. What do you think? How has functional relativism kept us from arriving at the place where porn is not an option?
Posted in Purity, Sexual Addiction | 
behavior, brokenness, character, God, growth, heart, lust, marriage, porn, Recovery, relationships, salvation, sex, sex trafficking, shame, sin, temptation | 
Leave a comment7 Surprising (and Negative) Effects of Porn
Published January 28, 2012 | ChurchLeaders.com recently posted a brief, yet eye-opening article about some of the negative effects of pornography. Here is a synopsis.
1. Porn Contributes to Social and Psychological Problems Within Men
2. Porn Rewires the Male Brain
3. Porn Turns Sex into Masturbation
4. Porn Demeans and Objectifies Women
5. Porn Squashes the Beauty of a Real Naked Woman
6. Porn Has a Numbing Effect Upon Reality
7. Porn Lies About What it Means to Be Male and Female
I encourage you to check out the article in its entirety to read the descriptions given for each of these negative effects. Thank you, ChurchLeaders.com, for adding a much-needed voice to the awareness of this issue!
Posted in Purity, Sexual Addiction | addiction, character, emotions, intimacy, love, lust, masturbation, porn, Purity, Recovery, sex, sin, Spouses, temptation | 2 CommentsWill the Truth Set You Free?
Published January 26, 2012 | 
This is one of the most often quoted verses. In John 8:32, Jesus’ words linking truth to freedom offer encouragement and inspire us to seek truth in the pursuit of personal freedom.
But there is a problem. Many who come into the church, and even discover a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ, do not experience freedom. They remain trapped in bondage to sin and warped thinking. They remain stuck in their lives and do not know how to move forward. Sadly, many of these same people leave the church, or worse leave faith altogether. They leave disillusioned and come, through their own experience, to believe the words of Jesus must not be true – or not true for them for reasons they cannot explain. This, of course, would be immediately validated by the relativistic world around us that says what is true for one may not be true for another.
So what is the answer? Is Jesus right? Why is the freedom promised by Jesus not a reality in the lives of so many? To find out, we have to go back to the source. Let’s look at the scripture in its proper context.
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32 NIV)
Taken in its full context, you can see what geeky software developers like myself call a conditional, if/then statement.
If you hold to my teaching…
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
What becomes immediately apparent is that truth is not the beginning of Jesus’ thought. Rather the truth, which results in freedom, has its root in holding to his teaching. We must listen to and apply the teaching of Jesus to our lives, regularly and consistently over time, in order to know the truth of his teaching and experience the freedom promised.
How do I arrive at this conclusion that it is “consistently and regularly over time” you may ask? Well, since I posed the question, I will answer it.
The Greek word used for “hold to” is meno. In the King James Version, this word is translated as “continue” in John 8:31. Interestingly, meno is the same Greek word from which we translate “abide” in John 15:4-10. This is another famous passage where Jesus instructs us that if we “if we abide in him”, the vine, “then we will bear much fruit.” There it is again, a conditional, if/then statement! The point is clear – there are conditions on our part to really experience freedom.
To be very clear, this is not a study of salvation. It is a study on how we can experience freedom from the grip of bondage to sin. Salvation and freedom both work in our lives by grace, through faith (Eph. 2:8-10; Gal. 3:1-3; Php. 2:13). Faith then works through love (Gal. 5:6). However, I will go so far as to say that if one does not possess a desire to hold to the teachings of Jesus and apply them to his or her life, they could question whether they have accepted the Gospel, or given mere mental ascent to Jesus as a “good teacher” or otherwise. Paul would advise us all to examine ourselves to see whether we are in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5). True faith should at some point be evidenced by a desire to apply the teachings of Jesus and grow in them. Every believer should pray earnestly over these issues.
Truth as expressed by Jesus is not merely knowledge of fact vs. fiction, but an experiential knowledge. This truth can only be rooted in experience. We must take it upon ourselves to learn Jesus teachings. We then must vigorously apply those teachings to our lives. Through application, we come to a personal/experiential knowledge of their truth and veracity, resulting in freedom!
Mariska Hargitay on Boyhood Sexual Abuse
Published January 25, 2012 | Actress Mariska Hargitay, famous for her role in the television show Law and Order SVU, was published on the Huffington Post today. In the article, she talks about some of the startling statistics on the prevalence of male, childhood sexual abuse. She started a foundation in 2004 called the Joyful Heart Foundation.
In Mariska’s words:
At Joyful Heart, the foundation I started in 2004 to help survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse heal and reclaim their lives, we are proud to share in the vision of one day ending violence against all people. We hope to send this message to all survivors: We hear you. We believe you. We feel for you. You are not alone. And your healing is our priority.
You can read her article, entitled “Personal Fouls” here…
While we may differ in some of the ways to address the issue, faith vs. secular, I applaud Mariska’s courage to take a stand on a difficult issue.
Fasting Sex In Marriage – Part 2
Published January 19, 2012 | A sexual fast is biblical because sex as an idol must be torn down.
A sexual fast is biblical because it helps remove sex or lust from being an idol. What does the Bible say about idols in our lives? It says over and over again that we are to bow down only to God himself, no one else.
“For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person – such a man is an idolater – has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.”
Ephesians 5:5
In this passage the bible equates someone who is immoral with someone who is an idolater. The Bible calls the immoral man also guilty of idolatry. 1 Thess. 1:9 says that we are to turn from idols to serve the loving God. All throughout the Old Testament God commands his people to not get ensnared into idol worship and to tear down the idols.
A great illustration of this is the great revival of King Josiah found in 2 Kings 23. King Josiah basically got his heart right with God and began to tear down the symbols of idol worship in the land. Those symbols were called Asherah poles. This was the name of a sensual Canaanite goddess Astarte, the feminine of the Assyrian Ishtar. Its symbol was the stem of a tree deprived of its boughs, and rudely shaped into an image, and planted in the ground. (Easton’s 1897 Bible Dictionary from “BibleGateway.com”) Josiah rightly knew he had to tear down any idol or it would be a snare to the people. Why is a sexual fast biblical? Because since lust and sex has become the idol then that idol must be torn down. Just like a drug addict must give up his drug so must the sex addict give up the idol of lust.
Possible Consequences
Don’t misunderstand the consequences of a man tearing down the idol of porn and masturbation. While each person is different for myself the thought of giving up my right to porn and masturbation was one of the most difficult issues I’ve ever faced. The pain of withdrawal drove me to anger, irritability, rage and physical symptoms such as my hands shaking. A man honestly dealing with his sexual addiction is a brave man in my mind. He may go through horrible withdrawals emotionally and physically the journey to sobriety is hellish with no exaggeration.
Porn Is Not An Option
Published January 18, 2012 | I have been impressed with a thought recently…
Porn Is Not An Option
This thought has been coming back to me again and again. I shared it with a struggling friend who asked if I meant restricting access to porn through filters and so forth. While that certainly fits with this phrase, it falls short of the meaning in my heart.
A marriage ministry in my area is well-known for saying “divorce is not an option.” They recommend couples take divorce off of the table. Whatever issues they are facing, whatever conflict they are going through, divorce should be completely and mutually taken off the table as a viable option. This frees them to focus on the issues at hand, rather than ultimatums regarding the marriage itself. They go on to say that as long as divorce is on the table, every other issue on the table is shrouded in its shadow. Taking divorce off of the table allows all of the other issues to be worked on without the fear of the D word – the ultimate escape hatch.
The P word has been an escape hatch for me – a parachute of sorts. When I feel like the bottom has dropped out of my life, I can just pull the chute and up pops my savior, lowering me gently to the ground. The problem is the parachute falls down around me and offers no support once I am back on earth – where my real problems live! It was a great ride, but leaves me with nothing more than a temporary rush. It is the ultimate non-solution.
“Porn is not an option” means that for me, as a follower of Jesus Christ, pornography is simply not an option for me. I have taken it off the table as a viable alternative. As long as porn is an option for me, evidenced by the fact that I would use it frequently or infrequently, all of the other issues are shrouded by it. It colors everything – my perspective on God, his goodness, the care of others and the important issues in my life.
What does it take to come to the place where porn is not an option?
Is rape an option? Is robbing banks an option? What about murder? Am I suggesting that porn is on par with these? No. But, I am suggesting that until we categorize pornography as a personal, moral issue against which we have taken a firm stance, we probably will continue using it. It is still an option. Regardless of the consequences, the temporary lift it may bring is worth it. There are plenty of things in our lives that we have decided are not options for us. Pornography has to join the ranks of those things against which we have taken a personal stand.
Will you join me? Will you take a stand that whatever it takes, I will get to the place where porn is not an option? When the temptation hits and access is available, I have to choose something else – something greater than porn. I choose differently because porn is not an option!
Posted in marriage, Purity, Recovery | accountability, addiction, behavior, character, confession, growth, heart, marriage, porn, Purity, relationships, sex, sin, temptation | 2 CommentsEscaping the Porn Trap
Published January 4, 2012 | In this screen-cast, we answer the questions:
- How big is the porn problem?
- What is porn addiction?
- What is the cycle of addiction?
- What is the way out?
We hope it will be helpful to you in your journey to walk in purity.
Posted in Purity | accountability, addiction, behavior, character, confession, emotions, Grace, intimacy, lust, porn, Purity, Purity Report, sex, shame, sin, temptation | Leave a commentFulfilling the Law of Christ
Published November 23, 2011 | Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
- Galations 6:2
Helping others. It is a very rewarding experience. When we enter a healing journey from habitual sin such as sex addiction, it feels good to lend a helping hand to another in need of support. When we have been struggling, it sometimes feels very natural to help others who are struggling too. It is a welcome distraction to the difficulty of resisting temptation. Scripture even directs us that “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4) As virtuous as it may seem to reach out to help fellow strugglers, we must hold to the whole counsel of scripture.
Jesus included this very topic, showing loving support to others, in what He described as the second greatest commandment in the entire Bible: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)
Amazingly, Jesus said that we have to love ourselves as well. Loving others and loving ourselves are inextricably linked. For some reason, the thought of helping another person can be a lot easier than reaching out for help ourselves. In order to “carry each other’s burdens” we have to be willing to let others carry our burdens as well. There is a mutual give-and-take implied in these scriptures. If we try to support others, yet do not seek support for ourselves, we are not fulfilling the law of Christ. We are in fact in violation of it.
Another passage which supports this principle is found in Hebrews.
See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
- Hebrews 3:12-13
Before moving on to the practical application given in these verses, it is important to point out the consequence of not experiencing mutual encouragement – our hearts become hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. More importantly, this verse answers an important question. How long does it take for the heart to become hardened? Only one day! The shelf-life for a soft heart is twenty four hours! For this reason we are clearly instructed to encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today.
Fortunately, the author of Hebrews gave us four clear areas where we can give and receive encouragement. Three refer directly to the state of our hearts: a sinful heart, an unbelieving heart, and a heart that turns away from the living God. Lastly, we are cautioned to not be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Let’s look at these four areas a little more closely.
1. A sinful heart
In our contemporary Christian culture, when someone struggling with a particular sin reaches out to the church for help, they are all-to-often instructed to read the Bible, pray, attend church, and the list goes on. Notice that this is not what the Bible recommends as the answer to a sinful heart. Seeing that none of us has a sinful heart does not primarily involve discipline, but encouragement!
We need to encourage each other when we struggle with sin. This requires honest and courageous confession with another Christians. In doing so, we experience first-hand the incredible power of James 5:16 which states that we should “confess our sins one to another and pray for each other that we may be healed.”
2. An unbelieving heart
We all struggle with unbelief from time-to-time. The circumstances of life can be incredibly discouraging. We need to daily give and receive encouragement which bolsters our faith. This is best done by sharing the word of God with fellow Christians. In doing so, we experience Romans 10:17 which tells us that “faith comes by hearing…the word of God.”
When we share insights from scripture with each other, our faith becomes stronger.
3. A heart that turns away from the living God.
This is a question of worship. It is not whether we will worship, but rather what will we worship. We either will worship the living God with our hearts, or turn away to other false gods. Those of us at The Purity Report have an obvious god that we have habitually worshiped sex.
When we confess our sins with other Christians and deal with our unbelief through sharing scripture together, it is not a difficult next step to encourage one another to turn to God today instead of turning away from Him. No matter what circumstances we are facing today, we can be encouraged that we can do all things through Christ and we can cast all of our anxieties upon Him because He cares for us! (Philippians 4:13, 1 Peter 5:7)
4. A heart hardened by sin’s deceitfulness
We all have blind spots. We all have thought patterns and perhaps behave in sinful ways that we may be completely unaware of. Sin and the flesh can be very deceptive. As we develop the daily habit of mutual encouragement, we have the opportunity to apply tough love and help each other to see our blind spots. This should, of course, be done with an attitude of compassion and with sensitivity. When we take the courage to carefully point out areas where we all can improve, the true maturity of our relationships are revealed. Are we willing to trust each other enough to give and receive constructive criticism when necessary or do we become defensive and allow shame to do the talking? We must remember that “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” (Proverbs 27:6)
Here is a quick synopsis:
- To fulfill the law of Christ, encouragement must be a give and take
- I must both give and receive encouragement daily to avoid a hardened heart
- Daily we should mutually
a. Confess our sins to each other
b. Strengthen each others faith through scripture
c. Point each other to God as the object of our worship and affection
d. Carefully reveal any blind spots that may contribute to a hardened heart
Posted in Purity, Recovery | accountability, behavior, character, Grace, growth, healing, heart, intimacy, Purity, Purity Report, Recovery, relationships | 2 CommentsANTHEM by John Piper
Published November 15, 2011 | Strategies for Fighting Lust
by John Piper
I have in mind men and women. For men it’s obvious. The need for warfare against the bombardment of visual temptation to fixate on sexual images is urgent. For women it is less obvious, but just as great if we broaden the scope of temptation to food or figure or relational fantasies. When I say “lust” I mean the realm of thought, imagination, and desire that leads to sexual misconduct. So here is one set of strategies in the war against wrong desires. I put it in the form of an acronym, A N T H E M.
A – AVOID as much as is possible and reasonable the sights and situations that arouse unfitting desire. I say “possible and reasonable” because some exposure to temptation is inevitable. And I say “unfitting desire” because not all desires for sex, food, and family are bad. We know when they are unfitting and unhelpful and on their way to becoming enslaving. We know our weaknesses and what triggers them. “Avoiding” is a Biblical strategy. “Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness” (2 Timothy 2:22). “Make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Romans 13:14).
N – Say NO to every lustful thought within five seconds. And say it with the authority of Jesus Christ. “In the name of Jesus, NO!” You don’t have much more than five seconds. Give it more unopposed time than that, and it will lodge itself with such force as to be almost immovable. Say it out loud if you dare. Be tough and warlike. As John Owen said, “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.” Strike fast and strike hard. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” ( James 4:7).
T – TURN the mind forcefully toward Christ as a superior satisfaction. Saying “no” will not suffice. You must move from defense to offense. Fight fire with fire. Attack the promises of sin with the promises of Christ. The Bible calls lusts “deceitful desires” (Ephesians 4:22). They lie. They promise more than they can deliver. The Bible calls them “passions of your former ignorance” (1 Peter 1:14). Only fools yield. “All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter” (Proverbs 7:22). Deceit is defeated by truth. Ignorance is defeated by knowledge. It must be glorious truth and beautiful knowledge. This is why I wrote Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. We must stock our minds with the superior promises and pleasures of Jesus. Then we must turn to them immediately after saying, “NO!”
H – HOLD the promise and the pleasure of Christ firmly in your mind until it pushes the other images out. “Fix your eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 3:1). Here is where many fail. They give in too soon. They say, “I tried to push it out, and it didn’t work.” I ask, “How long did you try?” How hard did you exert your mind? The mind is a muscle. You can flex it with vehemence. Take the kingdom violently (Matthew 11:12). Be brutal. Hold the promise of Christ before your eyes. Hold it. Hold it! Don’t let it go! Keep holding it! How long? As long as it takes. Fight! For Christ’s sake, fight till you win! If an electric garage door were about to crush your child you would hold it up with all our might and holler for help, and hold it and hold it and hold it and hold it.
E – ENJOY a superior satisfaction. Cultivate the capacities for pleasure in Christ. One reason lust reigns in so many is that Christ has so little appeal. We default to deceit because we have little delight in Christ. Don’t say, “That’s just not me.” What steps have you taken to waken affection for Jesus? Have you fought for joy? Don’t be fatalistic. You were created to treasure Christ with all your heart – more than you treasure sex or sugar. If you have little taste for Jesus, competing pleasures will triumph. Plead with God for the satisfaction you don’t have: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” (Psalm 90:14). Then look, look, look at the most magnificent Person in the universe until you see him the way he is.
M – MOVE into a useful activity away from idleness and other vulnerable behaviors. Lust grows fast in the garden of leisure. Find a good work to do, and do it with all your might. “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord” (Romans 12:11). “Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58). Abound in work. Get up and do something. Sweep a room. Hammer a nail. Write a letter. Fix a faucet. And do it for Jesus’ sake. You were made to manage and create. Christ died to make you “zealous for good deeds” (Titus 2:14). Displace deceitful lusts with a passion for good deeds.
Fighting at your side,
Pastor John
Reproduced with the permission of Desiring God Ministries
The Purity Report for Pastors
Published November 9, 2011 | We are excited to announce a new outreach of The Purity Report.
It is very sensitive for pastors to talk about struggling with pornography or other sexual integrity issues. We provide private, pastors-only forums which allow confidential use of our accountability framework.
The Purity Report offers a powerful way for pastors to begin talking about their struggles with other pastors in a safe environment.
Email us at info@purityreport.com for more information.
Posted in Announcements, News, Purity | accountability, character, confession, Grace, healing, News, Pastors, porn, Purity, Purity Report, Recovery, sex, sin | Leave a comment
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