healing

Mariska Hargitay on Boyhood Sexual Abuse

Actress Mariska Hargitay, famous for her role in the television show Law and Order SVU, was published on the Huffington Post today. In the article, she talks about some of the startling statistics on the prevalence of male, childhood sexual abuse. She started a foundation in 2004 called the Joyful Heart Foundation.

In Mariska’s words:

At Joyful Heart, the foundation I started in 2004 to help survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse heal and reclaim their lives, we are proud to share in the vision of one day ending violence against all people. We hope to send this message to all survivors: We hear you. We believe you. We feel for you. You are not alone. And your healing is our priority.

You can read her article, entitled “Personal Fouls” here…

While we may differ in some of the ways to address the issue, faith vs. secular, I applaud Mariska’s courage to take a stand on a difficult issue.

Dr. Earl Henslin – Sex & the Brain

In this episode of Pure Passion TV, Dr Earl Henslin, author of “This Is Your Brain on Joy“, talks about sex and its effects on the physiology of the brain. Starting at about minute 19 in the video he really kicks into the topic of sexual addiction and the brain in great detail. He talks about medication, therapy, brain trauma and even congenital brain issues affecting impulse control and addiction.

It is fascinating, and quite helpful for those who are greatly struggling with impulse control and addiction.

Fulfilling the Law of Christ

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

- Galations 6:2


Helping others. It is a very rewarding experience. When we enter a healing journey from habitual sin such as sex addiction, it feels good to lend a helping hand to another in need of support. When we have been struggling, it sometimes feels very natural to help others who are struggling too. It is a welcome distraction to the difficulty of resisting temptation. Scripture even directs us that “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4) As virtuous as it may seem to reach out to help fellow strugglers, we must hold to the whole counsel of scripture.


Jesus included this very topic, showing loving support to others, in what He described as the second greatest commandment in the entire Bible: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)


Amazingly, Jesus said that we have to love ourselves as well. Loving others and loving ourselves are inextricably linked. For some reason, the thought of helping another person can be a lot easier than reaching out for help ourselves. In order to “carry each other’s burdens” we have to be willing to let others carry our burdens as well. There is a mutual give-and-take implied in these scriptures. If we try to support others, yet do not seek support for ourselves, we are not fulfilling the law of Christ. We are in fact in violation of it.


Another passage which supports this principle is found in Hebrews.

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

- Hebrews 3:12-13


Before moving on to the practical application given in these verses, it is important to point out the consequence of not experiencing mutual encouragement – our hearts become hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. More importantly, this verse answers an important question. How long does it take for the heart to become hardened? Only one day! The shelf-life for a soft heart is twenty four hours! For this reason we are clearly instructed to encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today.


Fortunately, the author of Hebrews gave us four clear areas where we can give and receive encouragement. Three refer directly to the state of our hearts: a sinful heart, an unbelieving heart, and a heart that turns away from the living God. Lastly, we are cautioned to not be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Let’s look at these four areas a little more closely.


1. A sinful heart

In our contemporary Christian culture, when someone struggling with a particular sin reaches out to the church for help, they are all-to-often instructed to read the Bible, pray, attend church, and the list goes on. Notice that this is not what the Bible recommends as the answer to a sinful heart. Seeing that none of us has a sinful heart does not primarily involve discipline, but encouragement!


We need to encourage each other when we struggle with sin. This requires honest and courageous confession with another Christians. In doing so, we experience first-hand the incredible power of James 5:16 which states that we should “confess our sins one to another and pray for each other that we may be healed.”


2. An unbelieving heart

We all struggle with unbelief from time-to-time. The circumstances of life can be incredibly discouraging. We need to daily give and receive encouragement which bolsters our faith. This is best done by sharing the word of God with fellow Christians. In doing so, we experience Romans 10:17 which tells us that “faith comes by hearing…the word of God.”
When we share insights from scripture with each other, our faith becomes stronger.


3. A heart that turns away from the living God.

This is a question of worship. It is not whether we will worship, but rather what will we worship. We either will worship the living God with our hearts, or turn away to other false gods. Those of us at The Purity Report have an obvious god that we have habitually worshiped sex.
When we confess our sins with other Christians and deal with our unbelief through sharing scripture together, it is not a difficult next step to encourage one another to turn to God today instead of turning away from Him. No matter what circumstances we are facing today, we can be encouraged that we can do all things through Christ and we can cast all of our anxieties upon Him because He cares for us! (Philippians 4:13, 1 Peter 5:7)


4. A heart hardened by sin’s deceitfulness

We all have blind spots. We all have thought patterns and perhaps behave in sinful ways that we may be completely unaware of. Sin and the flesh can be very deceptive. As we develop the daily habit of mutual encouragement, we have the opportunity to apply tough love and help each other to see our blind spots. This should, of course, be done with an attitude of compassion and with sensitivity. When we take the courage to carefully point out areas where we all can improve, the true maturity of our relationships are revealed. Are we willing to trust each other enough to give and receive constructive criticism when necessary or do we become defensive and allow shame to do the talking? We must remember that “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” (Proverbs 27:6)


Here is a quick synopsis:

- To fulfill the law of Christ, encouragement must be a give and take

- I must both give and receive encouragement daily to avoid a hardened heart

- Daily we should mutually

a. Confess our sins to each other

b. Strengthen each others faith through scripture

c. Point each other to God as the object of our worship and affection

d. Carefully reveal any blind spots that may contribute to a hardened heart

The Purity Report for Pastors

We are excited to announce a new outreach of The Purity Report.

It is very sensitive for pastors to talk about struggling with pornography or other sexual integrity issues. We provide private, pastors-only forums which allow confidential use of our accountability framework.

The Purity Report offers a powerful way for pastors to begin talking about their struggles with other pastors in a safe environment.

Email us at info@purityreport.com for more information.

Beyond Pornography by Dallas Willard

Dr. Dallas Willard recently posted a very compelling article on his website about pornography and spiritual formation. True to form, his words do not merely impart information, but impel action and give practical application.

He uses his “VIM” model as a framework to understand the nature of pornography use and how to stop through devotion to Christ.

VIM stands for Vision, Intention and Means. Use of pornography represents a wrong vision of God and His creation (ourselves and the objects of pornography), which drives our intention to use pornography and gratify ourselves sexually, which leads to pursuing the means to act out those intentions. Replacing each element of VIM with a new vision, intention and means is laid out as a way to achieve freedom.

It really is an interesting read. Check it out here…

John’s Story – Part 2

Here is the balance of John’s story. He shares his story of drug and pornography addiction, and God’s saving grace. He is also open and honest about continued struggles with pornography after coming to Christ. The journey of faith is not perfect, but it continues to blossom as we follow God’s lead and rest in His grace!

You can watch Part 1 of John’s Story here…

John’s Story – Part 1

John Glisson, founder of Pure Community Ministries and The Purity Report, shares his story of drug and pornography addiction, and God’s saving grace.

He is also open and honest about continued struggles with pornography after coming to Christ. The journey of faith is not perfect, but it continues to blossom as we follow God’s lead and rest in His grace!

If you are struggling, you don’t have to languish in the dark. There is hope! Sign up on The Purity Report and start letting God into those dark places in your heart where He can forgive and heal you!

The Resurrected Life

My mind is always blown on Easter. Just the thought of a dead man being raised back to life after three days is mind boggling. Of course, that is exactly what we celebrate today. Jesus has conquered sin and death and lives forever as a testament to God that the price for our rebellion against Him has been paid.

Jesus invites us into his resurrected life. However, the way to that life is to follow his example. If we are to experience the joy of his resurrected life, we must also endure death at the cross. It is not a physical death, but surrendering to the reality that Jesus suffered on our behalf.

There are a lot of areas of my life where I want to experience Jesus’ life – my relationships are first on the list. Even my sex life makes the list. But I am reminded on Easter that in order for something to be resurrected, it first must die. Am I surrendering my life and all that it is about to Jesus so that it is his resurrected life that makes it live rather than my dead, sinful “life?”

Bottom line:
For something to be resurrected, it first has to die!

Video: The Purity Report “40 Day Challenge”

We created a quick screen-cast to give an overview of The Purity Report and the 40 Day Challenge. Take a look!

Note: It’s best to watch the video in full-screen HD mode to see all of the details.

Celebrating Fourteen Years

I picked up this chip last Tuesday at Celebrate Recovery.

It was fourteen years ago this week that I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. It was also fourteen years ago this week that I last used any illegal drugs. Needless to say, I am incredibly grateful to God for the grace he has given me to stay away from drugs.

Struggling with pornography, however, was a part of my life before I began using drugs and persisted long after. It is this struggle that God used to bring me into recovery. He chose to remove drugs from me without journeying through recovery. But, he chose to use porn addiction to humble me and teach me how to depend upon him for freedom.

What a long, strange, and wonderful trip it’s been! I look forward to what God is going to do in the future. Thanks for sharing this with me! Merry Christmas!