Don’t Let Your Lust Go Unaccounted For!

A while ago we blogged about identifying the biggest triggers for our lust. The point of that blog post was to encourage us to proactively identify what the main triggers for our lust may be and put guardrails in place to safeguard us from them.

Triggers can be very different from person to person, but generally fall into two categories:

1. Physical Triggers (people, places, things)
2. Emotional Triggers (feelings, thoughts, circumstances)

One of the most important aspects of recovery from porn/sex addiction is taking the time after a “slip” to process what happened. What were the specific triggers leading up to this particular episode?

Using the categories of physical and emotional triggers, we can gain valuable insight into our addiction after giving in to sin. Looking at it differently, you could say that it is discovering what the enemy used to gain access to our lives in this instance. Furthermore, over time we will see patterns emerging. This information about our addiction is absolutely necessary if we are to find real, lasting freedom from sexual sin.

Here are some questions that may be helpful when looking back and processing a fall. When answering them, don’t think just about the exact time that you acted out, but think about the last week or so leading up to it.

Physical Triggers

• What places did I go to that triggered lustful thoughts and feelings (including places online)?
• What people did I encounter that triggered lustful thoughts and feelings?
• What things did I come across that triggered lustful thoughts and feelings (including things online)?

Emotional Triggers

• What specific feelings have I wanted to escape or numb myself to? How long have I had these feelings?
• What has my mood or attitude been like? What has contributed to my mood or attitude?
• What feelings of anger or frustration have I been feeling? What is the cause of that anger or frustration? Who is involved?
• What feelings of resentment am I feeling? Who are those feelings directed toward?
• What stressful circumstances have I been dealing with? How have these contributed to the feelings I listed above?
• What have my predominant thoughts been focused upon? How do these thoughts mesh with the feelings and circumstances I listed above?
• What thoughts have specifically led to fantasy and arousal? How long have I been entertaining these thoughts? What feelings and circumstances have been in play since I have entertained these thoughts?

The next step is to decide what you are going to do with this information. How can you use it to help protect yourself from giving into sin in the future? What do you need to pray for wisdom and strength to guard against? Where do you need to specifically shore up your accountability? What do you need to avoid altogether?

Taking the time to carefully and courageously reflect upon our physical and emotional triggers is a non-negotiable aspect of recovery from addiction. Make a pact with yourself and your accountability network that you will always take the time to complete such an inventory when you give in to your lust. Don’t wait days or weeks to process your slip. Our addictive minds quickly cover up all of this junk when we act out. Take advantage of the time fresh from a fall, when your emotions are still raw and your conscience is screaming, to reflect upon what happened. You will not regret it!