Posts Tagged ‘sex’

A blog post entitled, “An Open Letter to Pastors“, was shared with me and I thought it well worth sharing. It is one pastor’s warning to other pastors.

The blog post was precipitated by the recent moral failure of a pastor who lives in my community – Cherokee County, Georgia.

2 Samuel 13 recounts the story of Amnon, the son of David. He fell in “love” with his half sister Tamar. Eventually, Amnon cornered Tamar in his house and raped her. He then tried to make it look like it was her fault, not his.

David found out about how Amnon had incestually raped his sister, but did nothing to discipline or confront Amnon. The passivity of David enraged his other son Absalom, who was Tamar’s full brother. Eventually, Absalom killed his half brother Amnon in revenge for raping his sister. This began a long chain of events that brought much bloodshed and pain into David’s family and the nation of Israel.

Why is it that David did nothing in response to Amnon’s sin? Some believe that it is because he had committed adultery with Bathsheba (see 2 Samuel 11). The shame of his own sinful behavior took his sense of moral authority away so that he felt unable to render discipline in his son’s situation without being a hypocrite.

Are you a father struggling with sexual sin? If so, you now have a new reason to seek help. You can be practically guaranteed that your children will be exposed to porn and pressured to have sex at some point. You want to have the moral authority to speak to them. Do not fall into the same trap that David did and render yourself impotent in the lives of your children.

If you find yourself in the place where you have a child facing pornography or sexual promiscuity, you don’t have to bow out because of your own struggle. Take the humble road. Admit your own faults to them. Don’t let your shame and sin prevent you from being a factor for good in your child’s life! Let them learn from your mistakes so they might be spared repeating them!

Eros is not only a word in Greek used to describe romantic love. In Greek mythology, Eros was the god of love and son of the goddess Aphrodite. He is synonymous with the Roman god Cupid, often depicted as a naked, winged boy with bow and arrow.

Most of us have seen cartoons of such a character firing his arrow into an unwitting guy who is suddenly struck with an insatiable compulsion to seek out the object of love’s spell. The lovestruck suitor loses all self control and is at the mercy of base, animal instincts. It would seem to me that such legend exists because of the incredible strength of sexual desire.

I have to admit, there have been times when the draw to consume pornography or reach sexual release was so great it seemed as if I were on autopilot; practically unable to resist the temptation. Most who find themselves in the pitiable state of addiction to porn or sex will attest to similar loss of self control. It would seem as if something has pierced the heart, driving the compulsion. However, rather than an arrow flung from the bow of some chubby baby, I submit that the piercing results from moral boundaries crossed repeatedly. Decades of choosing to indulge my lust brought me to the place of virtual powerlessness over it. It was no single arrow, but thousands of tiny slices at my heart. The Assassin of Character Creep had done its work well, and I was the assassin.

It is important to redeem the word love, in particular the type of love known as eros. What I have been describing is not love at all. It is lust and nothing more. Eros is not lust, but a God-given desire meant to passionately bind husband and wife together. Eros is like fire: inside of proper boundaries it is beautiful and adds warmth to those huddled around it. Outside of safe boundaries, it is a wild force that destroys everything it comes in contact with.

Studying “The Four Loves” has helped me draw a clearer distinction between eros and lust. One is a God-given love. The other is a selfish impulse better defined as unlove. Which do you think best fits pop culture’s portrayal of romance?

The third of the loves C. S. Lewis discusses in his book, “The Four Loves“, is Eros. He describes it simply as, “the love between the sexes.” We may recognize it as the root of the word erotic. However, eros is more than mere eroticism.

Eros is the passionate feeling a man or woman feels towards the opposite sex when falling in love with them. It may be described as a feeling of infatuation. Many phrases do eros justice when describing the experience of falling in love, love-struck or being smitten. Eros is exciting, spontaneous, and occurs in ways that captivate the focus of the lover onto his beloved.

It is would be easy to dismiss eros as inherently evil and lustful. This is a mischaracterization of eros, which we must remember is a creation of God. It draws lovers together in a powerful way which culminates in the most intimate of physical acts: the union of sex. The danger with eros is presented when elevated beyond its proper place and expectations are placed upon it which it cannot deliver.

It is clear in our modern society that eros has been both elevated and debased at the same time. It has been elevated as the most important of the loves, which leave us devoid of love because eros is the most fleeting of loves. It has also been debased as little if nothing more than sex. Lewis describes this misplaced attention on love as expecting from a dive what should rather be expected of swimming. Once the rush of the dive has passed, the lover realizes immediately the rush is gone, swimming requires work and conclude they must have dove into the wrong pond!

Eros is mysterious and difficult to define. Even C. S. Lewis had a difficult time describing it. However, any insight we can gain from studying the topic helps us to discern its proper place and apply wisdom to this intense yet most fickle of the loves.

In the video below, Chip Ingram shares three fundamental lies and the contrasting biblical truth about love and sex. He references a study guide which can be found here.

One of the most interesting parts of the video are the interviews at the very beginning. Many (most?) young people today have a very low view of sex. Rather than something sacred, too often these days sex is merely a pleasurable experience. God designed it to be so much more…

Here are the three lies as Chip lists them. It is important to note that these statements are made regarding sex outside of a healthy marriage.

Lie 1: Sex is necessary to keep a growing relationship.
Truth: Once sex enters into a relationship, it almost always disintegrates instead of getting better.

Lie 2: If we really love each other, sex is sanctified.
Truth: Sex is sanctified only inside the union of biblical marriage.

Lie 3: Having sex is a rite of passage.
Truth: With every sexual encounter you diminish the possibility and capacity to experience true intimacy.