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I have been impressed with a thought recently…
Porn Is Not An Option
This thought has been coming back to me again and again. I shared it with a struggling friend who asked if I meant restricting access to porn through filters and so forth. While that certainly fits with this phrase, it falls short of the meaning in my heart.
A marriage ministry in my area is well-known for saying “divorce is not an option.” They recommend couples take divorce off of the table. Whatever issues they are facing, whatever conflict they are going through, divorce should be completely and mutually taken off the table as a viable option. This frees them to focus on the issues at hand, rather than ultimatums regarding the marriage itself. They go on to say that as long as divorce is on the table, every other issue on the table is shrouded in its shadow. Taking divorce off of the table allows all of the other issues to be worked on without the fear of the D word – the ultimate escape hatch.
The P word has been an escape hatch for me – a parachute of sorts. When I feel like the bottom has dropped out of my life, I can just pull the chute and up pops my savior, lowering me gently to the ground. The problem is the parachute falls down around me and offers no support once I am back on earth – where my real problems live! It was a great ride, but leaves me with nothing more than a temporary rush. It is the ultimate non-solution.
“Porn is not an option” means that for me, as a follower of Jesus Christ, pornography is simply not an option for me. I have taken it off the table as a viable alternative. As long as porn is an option for me, evidenced by the fact that I would use it frequently or infrequently, all of the other issues are shrouded by it. It colors everything – my perspective on God, his goodness, the care of others and the important issues in my life.
What does it take to come to the place where porn is not an option?
Is rape an option? Is robbing banks an option? What about murder? Am I suggesting that porn is on par with these? No. But, I am suggesting that until we categorize pornography as a personal, moral issue against which we have taken a firm stance, we probably will continue using it. It is still an option. Regardless of the consequences, the temporary lift it may bring is worth it. There are plenty of things in our lives that we have decided are not options for us. Pornography has to join the ranks of those things against which we have taken a personal stand.
Will you join me? Will you take a stand that whatever it takes, I will get to the place where porn is not an option? When the temptation hits and access is available, I have to choose something else – something greater than porn. I choose differently because porn is not an option!
2 CommentsUp to 500 underaged girls a month are trafficked for sex here in our city of Atlanta. It’s the number one city in the country for child sex trafficking. The 10th in the world.
This film represents the spearhead of a citywide and possibly a nationwide campaign. It is not a documentary. It is not a PSA. It is the beginning of a movement. View the complete film at the following link:
Visit the Street Grace website to find out more information and get involved directly.
In this screen-cast, we answer the questions:
- How big is the porn problem?
- What is porn addiction?
- What is the cycle of addiction?
- What is the way out?
We hope it will be helpful to you in your journey to walk in purity.
Leave a commentI want to bring to you a plan – a somewhat risky plan. Beginning in 2012, we will begin giving 10% of the income of Pure Community Ministries to help eliminate the commercial sexual exploitation of children. In the years to come, we hope to increase that percentage beyond 10% to as much as our budget will allow.
I live in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia. It has been determined that Atlanta, with the world’s busiest airport (Hartsfield-Jackson International) is a large hub of domestic and international sex trafficking. It is estimated that over 375 children per month are trafficked in the state of Georgia alone. Atlanta, Georgia is in the top 10 cities in the world for sex trafficking and is number one in the United States! We cannot stand idly by while this goes on in our own backyards.
So what can we do? There is a local organization called Street GRACE (www.streetgrace.org) which is working in this vital area of ministry. This is from their website:
Street GRACE is an alliance of Christian churches, community partners, and volunteers dedicated to supporting, enlarging, and allying with those individuals and organizations working toward eliminating the commercial sexual exploitation of children (CSEC). Street GRACE mobilizes the resources within the community — financial, human and material — toward those organizations and individuals who have demonstrated effectiveness in battling CSEC in the areas of advocacy, aftercare and mentoring.Our ultimate goal is the elimination of this problem in the city of Atlanta and duplication of these efforts in other cities across the United States.
We believe this issue breaks the heart of God, and is the far-end of the spectrum for sexually immoral behavior. It is a fitting response for those of us who have been consumers of the sex industry, through pornography or otherwise, to give to such a cause. If you are a 12-stepper, think of it as amends.
Please consider joining us. This is not a gimmick to bring in more donations. Rather, it is a huge step of faith. This plan is risky for us because we usually run “in the red” financially. But, we believe that God cares about the sexual exploitation of children and we can help do something about it, even if it is something small. We trust God to make up any shortfall to bring more resources to bear on this issue.
You can donate online using the Donate button on our website, via check or online bill pay to:
Pure Community Ministries
P.O. Box 586
Lebanon, GA 30146
Thank you for your time, prayer and consideration of extending your generosity toward Pure Community Ministries and ending sex trafficking.
In Him,
John
P.S.
If you need additional motivation, watch the trailer for the film “Stop the Candy Shop” at this link:
http://stopthecandyshop.com/the-film
The film produced with the support of Street GRACE.
Strategies for Fighting Lust
by John Piper
I have in mind men and women. For men it’s obvious. The need for warfare against the bombardment of visual temptation to fixate on sexual images is urgent. For women it is less obvious, but just as great if we broaden the scope of temptation to food or figure or relational fantasies. When I say “lust” I mean the realm of thought, imagination, and desire that leads to sexual misconduct. So here is one set of strategies in the war against wrong desires. I put it in the form of an acronym, A N T H E M.
A – AVOID as much as is possible and reasonable the sights and situations that arouse unfitting desire. I say “possible and reasonable” because some exposure to temptation is inevitable. And I say “unfitting desire” because not all desires for sex, food, and family are bad. We know when they are unfitting and unhelpful and on their way to becoming enslaving. We know our weaknesses and what triggers them. “Avoiding” is a Biblical strategy. “Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness” (2 Timothy 2:22). “Make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Romans 13:14).
N – Say NO to every lustful thought within five seconds. And say it with the authority of Jesus Christ. “In the name of Jesus, NO!” You don’t have much more than five seconds. Give it more unopposed time than that, and it will lodge itself with such force as to be almost immovable. Say it out loud if you dare. Be tough and warlike. As John Owen said, “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.” Strike fast and strike hard. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” ( James 4:7).
T – TURN the mind forcefully toward Christ as a superior satisfaction. Saying “no” will not suffice. You must move from defense to offense. Fight fire with fire. Attack the promises of sin with the promises of Christ. The Bible calls lusts “deceitful desires” (Ephesians 4:22). They lie. They promise more than they can deliver. The Bible calls them “passions of your former ignorance” (1 Peter 1:14). Only fools yield. “All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter” (Proverbs 7:22). Deceit is defeated by truth. Ignorance is defeated by knowledge. It must be glorious truth and beautiful knowledge. This is why I wrote Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. We must stock our minds with the superior promises and pleasures of Jesus. Then we must turn to them immediately after saying, “NO!”
H – HOLD the promise and the pleasure of Christ firmly in your mind until it pushes the other images out. “Fix your eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 3:1). Here is where many fail. They give in too soon. They say, “I tried to push it out, and it didn’t work.” I ask, “How long did you try?” How hard did you exert your mind? The mind is a muscle. You can flex it with vehemence. Take the kingdom violently (Matthew 11:12). Be brutal. Hold the promise of Christ before your eyes. Hold it. Hold it! Don’t let it go! Keep holding it! How long? As long as it takes. Fight! For Christ’s sake, fight till you win! If an electric garage door were about to crush your child you would hold it up with all our might and holler for help, and hold it and hold it and hold it and hold it.
E – ENJOY a superior satisfaction. Cultivate the capacities for pleasure in Christ. One reason lust reigns in so many is that Christ has so little appeal. We default to deceit because we have little delight in Christ. Don’t say, “That’s just not me.” What steps have you taken to waken affection for Jesus? Have you fought for joy? Don’t be fatalistic. You were created to treasure Christ with all your heart – more than you treasure sex or sugar. If you have little taste for Jesus, competing pleasures will triumph. Plead with God for the satisfaction you don’t have: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” (Psalm 90:14). Then look, look, look at the most magnificent Person in the universe until you see him the way he is.
M – MOVE into a useful activity away from idleness and other vulnerable behaviors. Lust grows fast in the garden of leisure. Find a good work to do, and do it with all your might. “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord” (Romans 12:11). “Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58). Abound in work. Get up and do something. Sweep a room. Hammer a nail. Write a letter. Fix a faucet. And do it for Jesus’ sake. You were made to manage and create. Christ died to make you “zealous for good deeds” (Titus 2:14). Displace deceitful lusts with a passion for good deeds.
Fighting at your side,
Pastor John
Reproduced with the permission of Desiring God Ministries
We are excited to announce a new outreach of The Purity Report.
It is very sensitive for pastors to talk about struggling with pornography or other sexual integrity issues. We provide private, pastors-only forums which allow confidential use of our accountability framework.
The Purity Report offers a powerful way for pastors to begin talking about their struggles with other pastors in a safe environment.
Email us at info@purityreport.com for more information.
Leave a commentA new recommendation from the CDC released this week advises boys age 11-13 be vaccinated for the Human Papillomavirus (HPV).
(Reuters) – Boys should be routinely vaccinated against the human papillomavirus or HPV in an effort to protect them from oral, anal and penile cancers, and to extend protection of girls from cervical cancer, U.S. vaccine advisers said on Tuesday. (Full Story)
HPV is a sexually transmitted disease which causes genital warts and has been known to cause cancer. This recommendation, as tough as it it to hear, underscores just how pervasive sexual activity is among our youth.
I am more than a bit unnerved by the announcement as the father of two boys. My boys are not school-aged yet, but this announcement gives me a view into the world of their future. It is a world where sexual activity is more dangerous than ever – not just emotionally and spiritually, but threatening their very lives.
It doesn’t make sense to offer an opinion regarding the vaccine itself. I am not a health professional, nor well-researched. I am just grieved by the need for such a vaccine, especially in the likes of 11-13 year old boys. I would like to say that statistically boys and girls in the church are more abstinent and therefore safer, but that is not the case.
We are in a sad state…Lord Jesus, have mercy!
That being said, there is always hope in Christ. God is not rocked by STD’s, regardless of how young the victim. His Kingdom will see the eradication of them all. God’s prescription for sexual intimacy in marriage still stands as the best chance for “safe sex.”
I know the sadness I feel is His sadness at the harming of His children. I hope this will be a wake-up call to parents to talk to their kids about sex. When should that be? I recommend while they are still in single-digits. When their doctor will be talking about these vaccines just a couple of years afterwards, it only makes sense.
These are just random musings, but I felt compelled to write about the issue.
Dr. Dallas Willard recently posted a very compelling article on his website about pornography and spiritual formation. True to form, his words do not merely impart information, but impel action and give practical application.
He uses his “VIM” model as a framework to understand the nature of pornography use and how to stop through devotion to Christ.
VIM stands for Vision, Intention and Means. Use of pornography represents a wrong vision of God and His creation (ourselves and the objects of pornography), which drives our intention to use pornography and gratify ourselves sexually, which leads to pursuing the means to act out those intentions. Replacing each element of VIM with a new vision, intention and means is laid out as a way to achieve freedom.
It really is an interesting read. Check it out here…
Leave a commentOne thing that I have heard before that wasn’t encouraging to me at the time, but looking back I understand…
Once we act out, we find it easy to redouble our efforts. Like any appetite, once we feed it, it is quelled for a time. This is true of our sexual appetite. When we indulge ourselves, the sexual hunger is satiated and doesn’t bother us for a time. It could be a few days or even a few weeks or months. Our efforts to avoid temptations and maybe avert our attention from objects of temptation come easy for a time after acting out.
It isn’t easy when the siren’s call to dash ourselves on the rocks grows from a whisper to a shout. The hardest part of recovery is growing to the point where we are able to withstand temptation when the hunger hasn’t been fulfilled.
We have to remember that the thing we actually hunger isn’t sex, but intimacy, connection and pleasure. The false intimacy and connection of pornography, and the fleeting pleasure of masturbation always leave us flat. And like any appetite, it only grows as we indulge it.
Like I said, that is tough and may not sound encouraging right now, but I felt that it would be helpful to you in the long run. Stay strong and use the time when the temptation is low to build real intimacy, connection and healthy sources of pleasure into your life. That is the best way to combat the temptation to come.
If you don’t have face-to-face friendships with others who can encourage you, start out by joining our forums for strugglers at The Purity Report. It is a safe environment to begin talking about your temptations in a structured way and receive prayer and encouragement.
Leave a commentHere is the balance of John’s story. He shares his story of drug and pornography addiction, and God’s saving grace. He is also open and honest about continued struggles with pornography after coming to Christ. The journey of faith is not perfect, but it continues to blossom as we follow God’s lead and rest in His grace!
You can watch Part 1 of John’s Story here…
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