Relativism and Pornography
Published January 31, 2012 | 
The World Dictionary defines Relativism as follows:
…any theory holding that truth or moral or aesthetic value, etc, is not universal or absolute but may differ between individuals or cultures.
A phrase used in relativistic thinking is, “There is no absolute truth.” Of course, that very statement violates the philosophical law of non-contradiction, which states that a precept cannot be both true and false at the same time in the same way. Saying, “There is no absolute truth.” is an absolute truth statement, which nullifies itself as self-contradictory.
Regardless of this obvious contradiction, relativistic thinking, particularly with regards to morality, is pervasive in our culture. How many times have you heard, “What’s true for you may not be true for me.” The outworkings of functional relativism, as I’ll call it, ultimately result in humanism. Man is the ultimate arbiter of truth, and since men have differences one to another, so truth claims have no absolute authority over individuals.
Relativism poses significant issues to the Christian worldview. As a Christian, God is the ultimate authority and arbiter of truth. Furthermore, Christian orthodoxy holds that God has revealed his moral law to humanity through the Bible. This is the standard by which Christians are to measure themselves and the world around them. The doctrine of God’s sovereignty, creation, sin, the fall of man, and the atonement through Jesus Christ are central precepts to Christianity.
What is clear is that American Christians, especially with regards to sex, are largely identical to society at large. Divorce rates, pregnancy out of wedlock, consumption of pornography, even abortion, and so forth measure similarly. One way in which Christians in the Bible are specifically exhorted by the Bible to be distinct to those around them is in the area of sex (see 1 Cor. 6:12-20). However, what we actually see is no real difference. This is could be called hypocritical at best.
So what does relativism have to do with the church’s hypocrisy regarding sex?
No firm believer in Christianity and the Bible would adhere to full-on relativism, “There is no absolute truth.” But the seeds of relativistic thinking are present, evidenced by inconsistent profession of belief and actual behavior (again read hypocrisy). Most Christian men, for example, would agree that the use of pornography represents lustful, and therefore sinful behavior. They would not recommend it to others as a beneficial to the spiritual life and relationship with Jesus Christ. Their behavior, on the other hand, reveals they do not apply this same assertion to themselves. Christian men, who would not recommend pornography to others, are frequent consumers of it. This is evidence of an underlying functional relativism as it relates to pornography.
Why is this an important point? Isn’t this just sin requiring repentance? Why all the talk about relativism?
Yes, pornography is sin in the Christian worldview (see Matt. 5:28). Its production and consumption are both sinful according to biblical standards of morality. The issue with simply slapping the label of “sin” on it and moving on is that it short-circuits deep self-reflection on the issue. In our modern vernacular, the term “sin” has such a behavioral emphasis that it is applied only to abstinence from prohibited actions. This detracts from the process of repentance, which is generally defined as a “change of mind.” Changing one’s mind requires thinking about an issue, not merely willing a change of behavior.
Romans 12:2 admonishes us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” In order for the mind to be renewed, it must actually be used. If we stop at “sin” as wrong behavior, we discourage the use of our minds to actually think about what is going on, allow the truth of God to penetrate our thinking, and bring about a change of thinking. Asserting you have bought into functional relativism, evidenced by hypocrisy, beckons each of us to take a long, hard look at ourselves. This engages the mind, brings light to our thinking, and results in changes in thought and hence behavior.
When was the last time you heard someone teach that we should repent of the sin of functional relativism, evidenced by immorality? There’s something that makes me think!
There is obviously much more to say about this topic, but I will stop here to keep it brief. What do you think? How has functional relativism kept us from arriving at the place where porn is not an option?
Posted in Purity, Sexual Addiction | 
behavior, brokenness, character, God, growth, heart, lust, marriage, porn, Recovery, relationships, salvation, sex, sex trafficking, shame, sin, temptation | 
Leave a commentWill the Truth Set You Free?
Published January 26, 2012 | 
This is one of the most often quoted verses. In John 8:32, Jesus’ words linking truth to freedom offer encouragement and inspire us to seek truth in the pursuit of personal freedom.
But there is a problem. Many who come into the church, and even discover a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ, do not experience freedom. They remain trapped in bondage to sin and warped thinking. They remain stuck in their lives and do not know how to move forward. Sadly, many of these same people leave the church, or worse leave faith altogether. They leave disillusioned and come, through their own experience, to believe the words of Jesus must not be true – or not true for them for reasons they cannot explain. This, of course, would be immediately validated by the relativistic world around us that says what is true for one may not be true for another.
So what is the answer? Is Jesus right? Why is the freedom promised by Jesus not a reality in the lives of so many? To find out, we have to go back to the source. Let’s look at the scripture in its proper context.
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32 NIV)
Taken in its full context, you can see what geeky software developers like myself call a conditional, if/then statement.
If you hold to my teaching…
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
What becomes immediately apparent is that truth is not the beginning of Jesus’ thought. Rather the truth, which results in freedom, has its root in holding to his teaching. We must listen to and apply the teaching of Jesus to our lives, regularly and consistently over time, in order to know the truth of his teaching and experience the freedom promised.
How do I arrive at this conclusion that it is “consistently and regularly over time” you may ask? Well, since I posed the question, I will answer it.
The Greek word used for “hold to” is meno. In the King James Version, this word is translated as “continue” in John 8:31. Interestingly, meno is the same Greek word from which we translate “abide” in John 15:4-10. This is another famous passage where Jesus instructs us that if we “if we abide in him”, the vine, “then we will bear much fruit.” There it is again, a conditional, if/then statement! The point is clear – there are conditions on our part to really experience freedom.
To be very clear, this is not a study of salvation. It is a study on how we can experience freedom from the grip of bondage to sin. Salvation and freedom both work in our lives by grace, through faith (Eph. 2:8-10; Gal. 3:1-3; Php. 2:13). Faith then works through love (Gal. 5:6). However, I will go so far as to say that if one does not possess a desire to hold to the teachings of Jesus and apply them to his or her life, they could question whether they have accepted the Gospel, or given mere mental ascent to Jesus as a “good teacher” or otherwise. Paul would advise us all to examine ourselves to see whether we are in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5). True faith should at some point be evidenced by a desire to apply the teachings of Jesus and grow in them. Every believer should pray earnestly over these issues.
Truth as expressed by Jesus is not merely knowledge of fact vs. fiction, but an experiential knowledge. This truth can only be rooted in experience. We must take it upon ourselves to learn Jesus teachings. We then must vigorously apply those teachings to our lives. Through application, we come to a personal/experiential knowledge of their truth and veracity, resulting in freedom!
Mariska Hargitay on Boyhood Sexual Abuse
Published January 25, 2012 | Actress Mariska Hargitay, famous for her role in the television show Law and Order SVU, was published on the Huffington Post today. In the article, she talks about some of the startling statistics on the prevalence of male, childhood sexual abuse. She started a foundation in 2004 called the Joyful Heart Foundation.
In Mariska’s words:
At Joyful Heart, the foundation I started in 2004 to help survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse heal and reclaim their lives, we are proud to share in the vision of one day ending violence against all people. We hope to send this message to all survivors: We hear you. We believe you. We feel for you. You are not alone. And your healing is our priority.
You can read her article, entitled “Personal Fouls” here…
While we may differ in some of the ways to address the issue, faith vs. secular, I applaud Mariska’s courage to take a stand on a difficult issue.
Escaping the Porn Trap
Published January 4, 2012 | In this screen-cast, we answer the questions:
- How big is the porn problem?
- What is porn addiction?
- What is the cycle of addiction?
- What is the way out?
We hope it will be helpful to you in your journey to walk in purity.
Posted in Purity | accountability, addiction, behavior, character, confession, emotions, Grace, intimacy, lust, porn, Purity, Purity Report, sex, shame, sin, temptation | Leave a commentJohn’s Story – Part 2
Published August 9, 2011 | Here is the balance of John’s story. He shares his story of drug and pornography addiction, and God’s saving grace. He is also open and honest about continued struggles with pornography after coming to Christ. The journey of faith is not perfect, but it continues to blossom as we follow God’s lead and rest in His grace!
You can watch Part 1 of John’s Story here…
Posted in Grace, Recovery | accountability, brokenness, confession, Grace, growth, healing, love, masturbation, porn, Purity, Recovery, salvation, sex, shame | Leave a commentJohn’s Story – Part 1
Published July 22, 2011 | John Glisson, founder of Pure Community Ministries and The Purity Report, shares his story of drug and pornography addiction, and God’s saving grace.
He is also open and honest about continued struggles with pornography after coming to Christ. The journey of faith is not perfect, but it continues to blossom as we follow God’s lead and rest in His grace!
If you are struggling, you don’t have to languish in the dark. There is hope! Sign up on The Purity Report and start letting God into those dark places in your heart where He can forgive and heal you!
Operation Integrity – Emotional Triggers
Published June 21, 2011 | We became entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
You’re blessed when you get your inside world–your mind and heart–put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
Matthew 5:8 The Message
“No matter what we do or where we hide, we can’t escape our essential design. We long to be free of shame’s restraints, immersed in the passion of giving and receiving. We long to live a sacrificial life that matters today and tomorrow.”
- Dan Allender Ph D
It is a good idea for us to review our Step Four inventory along with our sponsor or counselor. When doing this review with an open mind and heart, we can begin to see how difficult emotions can be triggers for our addictions. While emotions can be our triggers, our character defects are the building blocks of addiction, and our self-centeredness is the cement which holds our addictive nature together. We will never find the freedom to recover and live well until we remove all of these addictive components from within us.
In reviewing our inventory, we can see how our character defects began innocently when we were children. They were our means of survival. We learned to manipulate to get our needs met. We lied to protect ourselves. We hid our emotions to avoid embarrassment and shame. We rationalized things in order to escape ugly realities that were too much for us to bear alone. Our character defects are really ineffective tools for coping and control. They are our methods of minimizing pain and diffusing threats that we see coming our way. Without realizing it, our character defects have become a kind of strategy to care for ourselves when are afraid that no one else will.
We may feel afraid when we think of losing our defective coping mechanisms. After all, we have, at least to some degree, subconsciously thought that our character defects were important for us to survive. Thinking this way, we will subconsciously mourn the thought of having our character defects removed from us. Because letting go of our character defects can be painful, it is important that we lean on those who have been working at recovery longer than we have. Those who have more experience will understand our pain and fear. Fearing the loss of a coping mechanism is understandable, but it is essential for us to grieve these losses without complaint so that we can effectively move on down the path of recovery.
Exercising courage makes it possible to learn new and healthy ways to live our lives without resorting to the addictions that we have relied on in the past. With courage, we trade our destructive emotions and addictions for the simple gift of gratitude. Gratitude posts a guard at the door of our hearts, which is to be accessed only by God and those whom He allows. Gratitude will help us to be thankful for life as it is, not how we wish it or expect it to be. Today and every day, we stand at a crossroad. But we don’t stand alone. Our recovery fellowship stands with us. Even better, the Source of all power, God, has joined the battle for us to live a new way, to become new people, to be free.
Insights and Inspirations for Christian Twelve Step Recovery?
By David Zailer and The Men and Women of Operation Integrity
Chapter Six Segment Five
Copyright David Zailer, 2008
Operation Integrity
24040 Camino del Avion #A115
Monarch Beach CA 92629
1-800-762-0430
operationintegrity@cox.net
Posted in Recovery | accountability, addiction, brokenness, character, emotions, growth, Recovery, relationships, shame | 2 CommentsThe Devil or the Flesh?
Published September 1, 2010 | 
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
- John 10:10 NKJV
Have you ever felt like lust has stolen from you; your peace, your rest, your dignity? Have you felt dead inside because no matter how hard you tried you could not stop doing the things you do not want to do? Have relationships been damaged or completely destroyed by the effects of your secret sin? If these short questions ring true with you, there is a thief in your midst. But, who is this thief? Is it the devil or is it the deceitfulness of the flesh?
So often, we hear of how the devil tempts us to sin and indeed he does. However, we also know that temptation comes from the flesh; the depraved mind which continually tries to get its needs met apart from God (see James 1). It is common to see those struggling with habitual sin approach their plight wholly from one of these views. Either the devil or one of his minions has taken a keen interest in them for some reason or they are convinced that they are loathsome creatures who are completely disqualified from experiencing the abundant life that Jesus speaks about in the verse above.
Neither of these one-sided views are helpful in the long run because because neither perspective has a proper focus. While it is understandable that someone would see things this way, they are either focusing on themselves or on the enemy. It is tempting to think that what we need is balance – a view that keeps both of these things in perspective. This too is flawed. We are clearly instructed in scripture that our focus should be singular – Jesus Christ, the Author and Finisher of our faith.
Giving too much of our attention to ourselves or the devil are deceptive distractions from the One who has the power and deep desire to set us free. We are instructed to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Living in shame or casting blame on the devil does nothing in this transformation process. Jesus wanted so badly to set us free from the shackles of sin that He laid down his life. He endured the cross because of the joy that was set before Him (Heb. 12:2). And what was this joy? A relationship with you!
We are imperfect, fallen creatures who are in need of sanctification. There also is an unholy enemy who should not be disregarded. But to the extent that these things distract us from Jesus Christ and a growing relationship with Him, they have become unhealthy. It is by grace that we are accepted into the beloved and by grace that we stand in the face of our enemy.
“…humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
- 1 Pet. 5:6-11
Remember that the Christian life begins in Christ, continues in Christ, and will end in Christ. Our fallen state and our fight against the evil one must be kept in this perspective. Jesus is our very life!
From Shame to Grace
Published August 18, 2010 | 
We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation. We will never regret that kind of sorrow. But sorrow without repentance is the kind that results in death. 2 Corinthians 7:10, NLT
“We can accept God’s good gifts too easily. Grace can be accepted only when we face our own inabilities. Forgiveness can be embraced only when we lay bare our wrongdoing, and hope can be imparted only when we face the reality of our own despair.” – Charles Ringma
Humility is an awareness that we are both imperfect and worthwhile at the same time. Humility is a high ground that traverses the bogs and swamps of grandiosity and self-hatred. Humility chooses to follow God’s plan over our own. When we live humbly, which we can be defined as consistently choosing God’s way of doing things over our own way of doing things, impossibly good things begin to happen to otherwise impossible people like us. We get turned inside out. Our attitude begins to change. Our outlook on life becomes healthier and more balanced. The destructive feelings we have had for ourselves will diminish. We will begin to see things differently. As we change on the inside, things around us begin to change as well. Life and the way we live it begin to make sense.
Humility is an acceptance of ourselves, sin and all. Humility helps us to see ourselves with one eye to evaluate and the other eye to appreciate. Humility admits to shortcoming and wrongdoing, then it reaches out and accepts the help that is needed to make serious changes. Humility helps us to understand the problems that we cannot solve on our own. This is why Jesus becomes increasingly important to us in our recovery. For you see, God never expects us to solve all of our problems on our own. He understands that our character defects and our addictions are beyond our ability to change. So, God offers to do for us what we can never do for ourselves. He offers to transform us by taking our character defects and, in exchange, replacing them with the character of Jesus. All we have to do to is to give up our character defects to Him and humbly receive Jesus’ character as God, according to His plan, builds it in us.
Insights and Inspirations for Christian Twelve Step Recovery
By David Zailer and The Men and Women of Operation Integrity
Chapter Seven Segment One
Copyright David Zailer, 2008
Operation Integrity
24040 Camino del Avion #A115
Monarch Beach CA 92629
1-800-762-0430
operationintegrity@cox.net
My Grace Is Sufficient…
Published September 27, 2009 | A great question was posted on the forum at Higher-Calling.com. I felt that it was worth sharing.
“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’”
2 Cor. 12:9a NKJVHow do I make this exchange? What does it look like in practice? Your input please.
Here was my response:
Great question, Paul. Thanks for asking. I have some thoughts about it. I will be the first to admit that I don’t do this perfectly or even as well as I would like. But here goes…
As with anything, this exchange has to begin with faith. If we don’t trust that this is available to us for some reason, then it will ultimately be ineffective in our lives. We have to allow the words of Jesus to be what they are – transcendent. They transcend our shame, our feelings of inadequacy, our circumstances, our hurts, our flesh, our temptations and everything else that would tempt us to believe that Jesus’ grace is not sufficient for us. The wonderful thing about this verse is that it acknowledges the very things that made up my previous list…our weaknesses.
Another observation is that Jesus said his grace is sufficient, not the law, our discipline or anything other than free, undeserved blessings and favor of God.
The context for this verse is wonderful as well. Paul is pleading for God to take away this “thorn in his side.” There is a lot of speculation as to what the thorn was. We really don’t know and so we can only conclude that what it actually was is not an important detail. What is important is that God reframed the reality of this fleshly haunt of Paul’s into a blessing…something that God allowed to remain in order to keep Paul humble.
Why is this so wonderful? Because Paul’s default response was not condemnation and shame, but humility. He saw his fleshly issues, whatever they were, as a reason to walk in humility before God and probably more importantly before other people. After Paul asked God to remove this issue from him and God did not, Paul took it in stride and accepted it as a blessing. When was the last time we saw suffering as a blessing?
Here is the full passage in The Message. A little context – Paul had just described some amazing revelations of Heaven that God had given to him in the previous verses.
Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
- 2 Cor. 12:7-10 (The Message)
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