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Byte-sized chunks of wisdom about sexual purity…
Episode 7: Overcoming Temptation
So what do we do about temptation?
In this episode, we talk about temptation – where it really comes from and how to overcome it.
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“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
- John 10:10 NKJV
Have you ever felt like lust has stolen from you; your peace, your rest, your dignity? Have you felt dead inside because no matter how hard you tried you could not stop doing the things you do not want to do? Have relationships been damaged or completely destroyed by the effects of your secret sin? If these short questions ring true with you, there is a thief in your midst. But, who is this thief? Is it the devil or is it the deceitfulness of the flesh?
So often, we hear of how the devil tempts us to sin and indeed he does. However, we also know that temptation comes from the flesh; the depraved mind which continually tries to get its needs met apart from God (see James 1). It is common to see those struggling with habitual sin approach their plight wholly from one of these views. Either the devil or one of his minions has taken a keen interest in them for some reason or they are convinced that they are loathsome creatures who are completely disqualified from experiencing the abundant life that Jesus speaks about in the verse above.
Neither of these one-sided views are helpful in the long run because because neither perspective has a proper focus. While it is understandable that someone would see things this way, they are either focusing on themselves or on the enemy. It is tempting to think that what we need is balance – a view that keeps both of these things in perspective. This too is flawed. We are clearly instructed in scripture that our focus should be singular – Jesus Christ, the Author and Finisher of our faith.
Giving too much of our attention to ourselves or the devil are deceptive distractions from the One who has the power and deep desire to set us free. We are instructed to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Living in shame or casting blame on the devil does nothing in this transformation process. Jesus wanted so badly to set us free from the shackles of sin that He laid down his life. He endured the cross because of the joy that was set before Him (Heb. 12:2). And what was this joy? A relationship with you!
We are imperfect, fallen creatures who are in need of sanctification. There also is an unholy enemy who should not be disregarded. But to the extent that these things distract us from Jesus Christ and a growing relationship with Him, they have become unhealthy. It is by grace that we are accepted into the beloved and by grace that we stand in the face of our enemy.
“…humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
- 1 Pet. 5:6-11
Remember that the Christian life begins in Christ, continues in Christ, and will end in Christ. Our fallen state and our fight against the evil one must be kept in this perspective. Jesus is our very life!
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
James 1:13-15
Let’s cut to the chase.
We all sin. We all fall short of God’s high standard of living. We have all lied, stolen, coveted, lusted (which is adultery according to Jesus), dishonored our parents, placed other things before God, and the list goes on. This is the reason that we need Jesus Christ in our lives. We simply cannot fulfill the laws that God laid out in the ten commandments.
But this study is not about sin or the law. This study is about temptation and how we can overcome it.
Let me level the playing field by pointing out “each one is tempted.” The King James Version reads “every man is tempted.” No man, woman or child alive is free from temptation. Mother Theresa was tempted to sin in the same way that you and I are. Even Jesus Christ Himself had to endure the draw of temptation to sin (see Hebrews 4:15).
So, where does temptation come from?
James immediately dispels any notion that God tempts us to sin. According to James 1:14 we are all tempted by the enticement of our own evil desires. Temptation does not come from without but from within. The lure of pornography or illicit sex does not come from pictures, pixels or prostitutes. The issue is the fallen flesh in which we live.
There is no question that Satan also tempts us. He is called “the tempter” and indeed tempted Christ. For the purpose of this study, I am focusing on the temptation that comes from within our flesh. But for the record, when Satan tempts us, he uses the evil desires that are in our flesh as a vehicle. He merely dangles the bait.
Speaking of bait! The Greek words used to describe being “dragged away and enticed” by our lusts are also used to describe a fisherman reeling in a fish hooked onto his line. This is a very appropriate picture. Imagine if you will a fish swimming in a lake. He comes across a tasty looking morsel floating by. But, he cannot see well enough to notice the hook embedded in the worm or the line leading to his ultimate demise. The fish is hungry and bites into the bait. The hook is set and the fish is hopelessly ensnared.
Now, the issue with this poor fish is not the bait that was waiting for him to come along. Many have said, “If we could ban all pornography and if women would dress appropriately then I wouldn’t be so tempted!” The fallacy of this kind of thinking cannot be overstated. The problem this fish had was that he was hungry! Because the fish was hungry the bait was completely irresistible. It was only a matter of time before this creature was hooked and dragged away. Of course, our temptation is not to eat a worm on a hook. Ours is much more subtle and deceptive. But, the problem we have is the same as that fish. Our flesh is hungry for sin. Our flesh knows nothing but sin and desires nothing but sin. Paul put it this way, “…nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature [flesh]. (Rom.7:18)”
Are you beginning to realize that the main issue with our temptation is our desire for sin? Thanks to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, sin has been taken care of. When we accept Jesus Christ into our lives and surrender to Him, the problem is no longer sin itself. The problem with temptation is our evil desires.
So what do we do about temptation? We cut to the root which are our evil desires! “First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” (Matt. 23:26)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
1 Corinthians 10:13
God makes a very strong and comforting promise to use in the preceding verse. The temptation we endure is not unique to us. Others have experienced the same and have overcome them successfully. Furthermore, God in His faithfulness will only allow temptation to come upon us that we are able to conquer through Him. This means one of two things (or both):
1. God will now allow temptation greater than we can bear to come upon us.
2. God will strengthen us so that the temptation we are experiencing will not overtake us.
The most meaningful part of this verse for me is the last part: “…He will also provide a way out…”
Many times in the past I have tried different techniques to overcome temptation, and in particular sexual temptation. I have tried to pray more, read more scripture, be more accountable to other Christians, focus on Christian service, and the list goes on. I succeeded only in frustrating myself, burning myself out and becoming embittered toward the Christian life. I seemingly had no more power over my impulses after all of that activity than when I had begun. Worse, my anger and frustration was contributing to my addiction even more.
I have since come to discovery that the “way out” is not an activity, discipline or technique. He is a person!
“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6
Jesus Christ Himself is the way out of temptation. I will explain a few concepts first and then delve into practical application.
Paul wrote that God would “provide a way out” and Jesus declared that “I am the way.” Putting these verses together gave me the answer that I was looking for! But, there was one issue that I had to clear up first – acceptance.
Because of the nature of my sin (sexual addiction) I felt very ashamed and unacceptable to myself and to God. I felt unworthy of His help and His mercy. I knew that I had been forgiven because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, but I could not approach Him with any confidence because of my shame. Through learning about the grace of God as explained by Steve McVey in his book “Grace Walk
McVey uses a simple question to help us come to grips with our acceptability with God. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, how acceptable to you feel to God right now? I have asked this question to dozens of people since first reading the book and I have very rarely heard anyone reply that they felt like they were a 10. Many of these people I respect deeply and would regard as very strong Christians. Yet the pattern remained that they did not feel 100% acceptable to the Father.
What this boils down to is that we do not feel like “10′s” because we are relying on some measure of self-effort to make ourselves “acceptable” to God. Only if we prayed more, read more scripture, gave more, served more, were not angry, were sexually pure, etc. This mindset has kept us from experiencing the love of God through Jesus Christ long enough! It is time to stop…right now!
YOU ARE A 10!
Now, you might be thinking, “Is he saying that I shouldn’t read more scripture, give, serve, pray or stay sexually pure?” No, that is not what I am saying. I am saying that if we engage in those activities to somehow feel more acceptable to the Lord then we have already missed the point.
There is nothing that we can do to make ourselves more acceptable to the Lord. Nor is there anything that we can do that would make us less acceptable to Him! Jesus Christ paid the full penalty for our sin and we died with Him at the cross. We are new creations that are perfect in His sight. When a believer gives into temptation and sits in front of a computer using pornography it certainly hurts the heart of God. But, He looks down upon us and accepts us unconditionally, even in the midst of our darkest moments!
If you struggle with this concept, I highly recommend getting a copy of “Grace Walk
Now that we have established that Jesus accepts us (we are 10′s) even in our darkest moments, we can turn to Him in those moments and fellowship with Him.
Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
Hebrews 2:18
Jesus Christ knows that we are tempted and He wants to help us through it. He understands because, as we discovered previously, He has also endured temptation. The way out of temptation is not to focus on anything else but Him. When we learn to fellowship with Jesus Christ in the midst of our temptation He strengthens us and turns our desires away from the object of our lust. The more we learn to turn to Him for help in the middle of temptation the more we become surrendered to His work within us. We are able to hear His voice in the midst of what formerly was a source of shame and despair.
I have found that my evil desires and temptation that comes through them no longer drag me away from the Lord. Now temptation actually drives me to Him! I am tempted dozens of times a day to do all sorts of unseemly things. I have found through this principle that I am in fellowship with Jesus much more often and have experience the peace that comes through resting in Him and allowing Him to handle the temptation for me. When I realize that a woman is in my presence that my eyes are drawn to, I begin to talk to Christ in my mind (and sometimes aloud). His peace and strength begin to flow through my thoughts and I feel His love and acceptance in that moment. Then my desires to look at that women are strongly overridden by the love and acceptance that Jesus offers to me. Jesus is doing His amazing work of changing my desires. I have seen my sinful desires, and in particular pornography, masturbation and objectifying women, wane significantly since I let Christ into my temptation.
Below is a summary of this study:
- Every human being endures temptation (James 1:13)
- We are tempted because of the evil desires in our flesh (James 1:14)
- Jesus accepts us unconditionally, even in the midst of our temptation (You are a 10!)
- God has promised us a way out of our temptation (1 Cor. 10:13)
- The way out of temptation is not a technique, but a Person – Jesus Christ (John 14:6)
- By turning to Jesus Christ in the moments when we are tempted, our temptations no longer drag us away from Christ but drive us to Him. (Heb. 2:18)
- As we let Jesus into our temptations He changes our desires from the inside.
(originally posted on higher-calling.com)
In the last chapter of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” the author, Stephen Covey, hits upon an incredible principle. It goes like this:
There is a gap or a space between stimulus and response. The key to both our growth and happiness is how we use that space.
We so often go through our lives on autopilot, not really aware of our own responses to what is going on around us. Then we wake up one day and find ourselves in an undesirable place perhaps not knowing how we got there.
The truth of the principle of stimulus and response means that we are not victims of our circumstances. We have the freedom to choose our responses. The problem is we often forfeit that freedom. Our “proactivity muscles”, which would pay attention through self-awareness to what is going on around us, are flabby and need to be exercised. If we are oblivious to how we respond to what happens to us, we have given up our ability to choose differently.
This is obviously a critical principle in the realm of sexual addiction and recovery. We have trained our minds over time and repetition to respond sexually to a whole range of things, both physical and emotional. The space between stimulus and response becomes razor thin. Rather than choosing a response based upon our values, we experience a Pavlovian response.
Start to pay attention and exercise your self-awareness. You will be amazed at how over time the gap between stimulus and response can grow. It brings new freedom to choose and apply your conscience to situations which previously acted upon you. You can choose differently!
As I was enjoying my daily dose of LOL Cats I came across this picture. It quickly reminded me of how it feels sometimes with lust and temptation.
There are times when it seems to follow me around and haunt me everywhere I turn. All I have to do is “stop the car” and I will be overrun by this behemoth that has been following me around. Not unlike this picture, sometimes an attractive woman in my rear-view mirror while sitting at a red light can be something to kick of fantasy.
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
- 1 Peter 5:8
Roaring lion, pack of stampeding elephants; same thing, right?! As this verse tells us, we have to be self-controlled and alert. The enemy literally stalks us at times and he knows our weaknesses.
For those of us who have habitually given in to lust, porn, etc., we have given up self-control to our flesh. We have to work diligently to regain it and be alert. However, there is a twist. Scripture also teaches us that self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (see Galations 5:22-24).
As with anything in the Christian life, success is not measured by work but rather by faith. Growth in Christian character, including the spiritual fruit of self-control, is a work of grace that God is actively pursuing in our hearts. We know that he is working to conform us to the image of Christ. The work that is ours is to trust that God is indeed doing a work in our lives and trust him to bring it to completion.
There is so much more to say on this topic. But for further reference, here are a few more scripture references.
Romans 12:1-2
Philippians 1:4-6
Colossians 3:9-10
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